|Convergence of ideas
||[Aug. 22nd, 2006|09:51 am]
I'm all about trying to streamline things, make them more efficient, take stress out of people's lives. What little shortcuts can I develop to avoid confusion and timewasting? |
I'm also of the age where I worry a bit more about my health than I used to. Friends afflicted with heart things and back things and liver things and me worrying that when it's my turn it won't be anything normal or even impressive, but as usual, something embarrassing and petty. (Look, I'm the kind of person who has had an eyelash stuck to my eardrum...a toenail clipping flip up and get caught underneath my eyelid...has a poison ivy outbreak eventually cause a psychotic break. What are the odds that I'll die from something properly dramatic?)
I've also been known to be overserved at parties...oh, the walk to the tap is just soooo far and here's this beer right here all handy-like. Which sometimes results in a slowness of thought the next day...
So, here's my solution: a rubber stamp. So, when you serve a beet salad to your party guests, you can stamp on their hand "Tomorrow you will poo red" and they can avoid that heart-stopping "oh, expletive of your choice" moment the next day, until the slightly more conscious part of their brain recalls the previous night's menu....