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The Allure of the Hot Bath - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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The Allure of the Hot Bath [Oct. 10th, 2008|08:44 am]
terribleturnip
Thanks to everyone for their kind suggestions. I'm hopeful, though the pain can be absolutely breathtaking at times, it comes and goes, and the grinding dull ache the rest of the time seems to be less, umm, mind-consuming. Which means it's either shown slight improvement or I'm getting used to it. Now, if only I can convince myself to continue to act like an invalid to let things heal. Yah. Right.

Three Fingered Salute suggested a hot bath and that got me to thinking. A lot of people love a good soak in a tub but for some reason, I can't think of anything less appealing.



For starters, I would have to schedule it for right after a good bathroom cleaning. Because it would have to be spotless. Nothing ruins relaxation like noticing cat hair gathered in the corners, or soap scum remnants on the underside of the soap dish, which are easily ignored while showering...or cleaning, but I have, over the years, found my relaxing soak turned into me, crouched naked in the tub, obsessively scraping off soap remnants from underneath the soap dish. It's hard to get the magic back after that.

And setting the atmosphere...I do have lovely bath oils, although frankly, the last thing clutzy me needs is to make the tub surface MORE slick. It's a shame, because they are really high end English scented oils that you can blend yourself -- I favor blending geranium and rose with a hint of nutmeg and marjoram. They've now become my pedicure treat, although I should work on the romance of that, too -- since while it smelled good, sitting in front of the television with my feet in a big stainless steel mixing bowl, I realize, lacks a certain amount of atmosphere. No wonder I rely on others to pamper me.

And candles...by the time I gather the candles, set them all up, rifle through the drawer for the stick lighter, curse because it's almost out of fluid, try holding it upside down and shaking it, give up, trot back downstairs for matches....then I'm fire-impaired enough to need to light a new match for each and every candle, so now the sulfur smell is fighting with the geranium-rose-nutmeg-marjoram and it's starting to smell like an herbed poundcake from hell has been baking in the bathroom.

Well, at this point, I'm exhausted, and ready to sink into the tub. But the water's still too hot. I'm not a hot water person. Ever? Or just since I taught infant and child swimming at the YMCA and I began to associate the superwarm kiddy pool with umm, accidents? I dunno. But I am a hot water wussy, too. Ow, ow, ow...if I'm sharing a hot tub with you, it's because I really, really want to spend time with you. Because my idea of fun is NOT being boiled like a lobster. So, the water finally cools enough so that I can lower myself in there.

And then I realize that I've forgotten my book. (No, you think I can just lay there and relax? Bored. Bored. Bored.) So I get the book, get back in, get the book wet, be glad it's not a library book.

Then I have to decide what will be submerged -- chest or knees. And I think to myself how nice it would be to have a tub that is big enough to actually submerge in. Maybe I'd find this whole thing more pleasant if I could completely submerge. Or, if a tub bottom was made of memory foam. Because now my butt hurts. And my neck. So I reach up and grab a hand towel to prop behind my neck. Which immedidately slides into the water when I shift my butt. Which is fine, until it's been back out of the water for a while and now it's getting cold. But I'm going to ignore that. And am contemplating getting out and grabbing an actual towel to put under my butt. Because no matter how fat my ass is, my body refused to store any actual fat on the tips of my seatbones.

The cold drip of water from the showerhead reminds me that I really need to replace that washer. I'm beginning to wonder if I can possibly convince myself to go straight from the tub to bed -- or am I going to feel the need to shower off first? And how I'd really enjoy hot tubs more if I didn't feel the need to shower off all of the chemicals afterwards and really, I'd enjoy the whole experience more if I knew less about bacteria.

Which is about when Mouse leaps up onto the bathroom counter to investigate and sets her long-haired self on fire....



For starters, I guess, it's teh
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-10-10 01:25 pm (UTC)
You're such a romantic...
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-10-10 01:36 pm (UTC)
I share the same self imposed limitations about hot baths in my own tub, least of these being the fact I do not fit.

I heartily recommend a shower massage nozzle and hot water in same said shower. It provides me morning relief from my L4 - L5 process pain, and
merely requires positioning my great backside in the proper position for said relief.


Candles are optional.
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[User Picture]From: 3fingeredsalute
2008-10-10 01:57 pm (UTC)
Wow! Now I don't know if *I* can take a hot bath. I wasn't aware I wasn't obsessing enough.

When I get to the point where I want a hot bath to help relax, I typically try to keep the stereo in another room, but drag in the speakers, play something which entertains my brain-waves enough to focus on nothing but the muted sounds of the rhythm and the sound of my blood pumping as I hold my head underwater as long as possible in as dark a room as I can (a candle is about right, but a nightlight would work, too). THEN I obsess over the water getting too cold, or some water has displaced out the overflow drain, etc. and have to do the "I'm paddling as fast as I can" hand-canoe dance to swirl the hot water around me so I can equally burn my balls as well as my tootsies.

In all sincerity, you know my heart was in the right place. I have never bathed with you, and perhaps now I know why. *bg* I know you must be aware of your typical ways to relieve your pain and ick. If I had (or have) really remarkable thoughts, I'll share them, too.

Ummm... how about a drive in a convertible through the New England peak fall-foliage season with a brisk breeze and heated leather seats (aka: bun-warmers)? *g* If nothing else, at least it can bring a smile.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-10-10 02:57 pm (UTC)
I LOVE that picture!

Remember, I am NOT normal. It was a perfectly reasonable suggestion -- it's just that relaxation doesn't come normally to me. Partly my inner self and partly my outer circumstances.

For example, I was all about the car ride till I got to the heated leather seats and thought "augh! No! Icky! Your ass should never be warmer than the rest of you. That's just creepy!"

What can I say, I'm high maintenance in very special ways....and they tend to involve relaxation, comfort and coddling. My neighbors still make fun of me for not wanting to have our local massuese over to give me a massage. When someone suggested it, I said "I dunno. What if I like it? Then I'd want to have a massage on a regular basis."
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-10-10 03:20 pm (UTC)
OMG. We share the same sense of enjoyment!

I would not buy anything but a 19" inch TV until I was 42 because I was afraid I would like it too much, and have to buy another when it broke down.
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[User Picture]From: 3fingeredsalute
2008-10-10 11:35 pm (UTC)
For example, I was all about the car ride till I got to the heated leather seats and thought "augh! No! Icky! Your ass should never be warmer than the rest of you. That's just creepy!"

I have been known for an ass that very well may be hotter than the rest of me, even if I am creepy.

Remember... tip your waitress!


*heading off to find an ass icon that doesn't look like thatliardiego's (ICON, if you had to ask)*
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2008-10-10 03:32 pm (UTC)
Well I personally am glad you AREN'T taking a hot bath, well at least until you know it's not a disk issue and just muscular...!!!! Don't make me hobble down there..I will :-) and dammit, I'll be polite about it and well, darn it to heck, I'd be upset on the inside :-) hehehehe

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[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2008-10-10 05:38 pm (UTC)
Agreed! Last thing disks need is heat, if they are already all bulgy. Ice is for the bulgy.
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