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Cold Enough for You? - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Cold Enough for You? [Jan. 16th, 2009|09:31 am]
terribleturnip
The next person who says “Cold enough for you?” is going to get punched right in the face. Not because it’s too cold, or not cold enough, or even just freaking right, but because the week isn’t quite over yet and my “patience with idiots” pouch is empty. Look, Mr. Master of the Obvious, rummage around in your conversational treasure chest for something a little more clever, would ya? Or, leave the treasure chest AND your mouth shut.

When it's this cold, you preserve more body heat if you keep your mouth shut. That’s why my people (taciturn New Englanders) got their rep for being surly or unfriendly. We’re not. It’s just that you don’t waste body heat by flapping your gums or waving your whole damn arm to say hello like some kind of Potato Princess on a parade float. Then, when it warms up, we stay that way, because we like our blessed peace and quiet. The nod of recognition, the two fingers lifted off the steering wheel wave, the simple stating of someone’s name as a greeting:

“Jim.”
“Hank.”

It’s all you need, really. I know you. I know your name. I like you enough to say your name out loud. I will accompany that with a short nod of solidarity. Good enough. The simple peace and quiet is really comforting. Way more comforting than “Y’all come back, now, y’hear?” and a big ol’ arm wave. ‘Cause you don’t always mean it, you southerners. You’re just being polite. Which is fine. But not trustworthy. And a real waste when it's chilly. But ya do make fine iced tea. We’ll give you that.

I did delight in the nose crackle this morning. Takes me back. When you step outside, heading down the barn to chip out a hole in the water trough and throw food at various beasts and your first inhale, all your nose hairs freeze up and crackle. I love that.

But, for the record: I’ve had my little trip down memory lane, my heating bill is killing me, it can warm right the hell back up now.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-01-16 03:07 pm (UTC)
I remember looking forward to milking the cow because at least she was warm.

I bet she didn't look forward to my cold hands though *snicker*
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2009-01-16 03:11 pm (UTC)

tipping hat

"Meredith"
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2009-01-16 04:22 pm (UTC)

Re: tipping hat

Jon.
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2009-01-16 03:17 pm (UTC)
Nope it's not cold enough cause the lambs haven't arrived yet. It is my experience that sheep plot and plan to have their babies on the coldest day of the year. Of course, I could be giving sheep too much credit.....

brrrrrrrrrr
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2009-01-16 07:38 pm (UTC)
Can you still hear them, Clarice?
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2009-01-16 03:23 pm (UTC)
I'll remind you of this in June.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2009-01-16 03:24 pm (UTC)
Do you also miss the bit where you take as few breaths as possible while standing at the edge of the dirt road waiting for the school bus because everytime you breathe through either your nose or your mouth you get brain freeze?? No, I don't either.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-01-16 03:25 pm (UTC)
OMG or walking to school with your hair still slightly damp and shaking the icicles out of it?

*brrrrrr*
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[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2009-01-16 03:43 pm (UTC)

probably too many words, but...

You could always answer with "It's not the cold, it's the humidity" and see if that shuts them while you make your escape.

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2009-01-16 09:25 pm (UTC)

Re: probably too many words, but...

When I'm in a good mood, I like to play -- like when someone says "Can I ask you a question?" and I say "No." But this one...is just hitting me wrong. Football and the temperature: Enough already.
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[User Picture]From: madam_macaw
2009-01-16 04:28 pm (UTC)
See - my house is a nice and frigid 62-65 degrees year round. I don't mind my heating bill very much during the winter, but the AC in the summer can break my bank. We do this because I lost the battle long ago with my husband. "You know it is healthier for Nicky (asthmatic) if the house is cooler. The peditrician said so." Even in the summer, I go to bed with long pants and a shirt, along with my warm comforter.

Luckily, my hubbie is like a furnace, so all freezing appendages go right on his lovely roasting tushy!
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-01-16 06:43 pm (UTC)

Hubby like a furnace... from the rocketeer

To which he no-doubt responds with "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAOOOOOOO!"
Just sayin'
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[User Picture]From: madam_macaw
2009-01-16 07:17 pm (UTC)

Re: Hubby like a furnace... from the rocketeer

He is very forgiving. Teehee.
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[User Picture]From: buglefly
2009-01-21 07:23 pm (UTC)
And then there is the sibling who lives in Colorado who has to call and let you know that they are having weather 35-40 degrees above the normal for this time of year. I gave him a set of dial-tones as an answer to his jolly "we're having spring like weather at 67 degrees".
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