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Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam... [Mar. 10th, 2009|08:39 am]
terribleturnip
The real reason I hate spam is not the time I have to waste dealing with it, not even the fact that it makes me sometimes delete messages that I didn't MEAN to delete, but my fingers were on a roll...

The real reason is that it forces me to confront, on a daily basis no less, the fact that most people are stupid and gullible.

Sure, I'm a misanthrope. I'd believe that anyway. But it's like believing in hell -- the belief makes you behave a certain way so you don't wind up there, but it's not like you spend every day thinking about just how horrible it would be.

(For the record, I believe in hell the way I believe in the innocence of children and the storage of alien carcasses by the U.S. Government -- sure, it has a certain appeal, and makes for a good story, but...no.)

Anyway, a lot of the spam I'm getting is apparently from myself. No wonder I'm so tired all of the time! I thought I was asleep, but apparently I'm up all night long sending myself e-mails about increasing the size of my penis.

See, that's how I know it's not really me. Because I would just come out and say "penis". And these people impersonating me are using phrases like "lovestick". Which makes me cringe to type, even if I'm attributing it to someone else.

But really, what kind of moron opens and responds to an e-mail from themselves?!?!?!??!

Apparently enough to make it worthwhile to keep doing it. Sigh. The stupidity of my fellow man never ceases to amaze me. Sadly.

Although I got one today that I'm treasuring. "Say goodbye to your diseases!" Which is just so damn cheery! And I will giggle all day at the image of me at the train station, waving a hankie, as the train pulls out, and I wave goodbye to an ovarian tumor, rheumatoid arthritis, breast cancer and AIDs.

(Not that I have those...I'm just creating a picture here. Please hold the Get Well cards.)
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