||[Nov. 24th, 2009|03:33 pm]
I don't get as stressed out as a lot people during the holidays. Mostly because I've been stressed out all year, so it's really hard to ratchet it up, when you're in overdrive already. Like a constant intake of caffeine or valium, you really need to take a lot MORE for it to have any effect. Not that I'm hitting on Percy's valium. Although I'll OWN the caffeine. |
But see, I've already suffered through the Great Halloween Disappointment. You know when you look at your plans and expectations...and then at the realistic time you have to get it all done...and after much teeth-gnashing, wailing, flailing, self-recriminations, breaking into the candy early, feeling fat and guilty, realizing that you just burned a half an hour of prop-making trying to stealthily open the candy bag, eat a handful of candy, when really two snacksizes would have done, then guiltily bury the candy wrappers, duct-tape the bag shut so that not only will it take an act of God to get back in the bag, but you will be confronted by your impulsiveness and lack of self-discipline every time that silvery glint catches your eye.
Or you will just finish off the bag and buy another one. Because I'm nothing if not pragmatic. And fat.
Oh, but back to the Great Halloween Disappointment. See, I have all of these great ideas of props I want to make, scenarios I want to set up, sound loops, lighting, costuming, fun food...and every year, there I am a week ahead of the big day, jettisoning those dreams like a cat shedding hair in springtime. Clinging to one small improvement over the previous year and pretending this consolation prize is a major achievement.
One day I would like to not have to administer the "Well, if you only planned ahead and actually got this stuff done during the summer, instead of waiting until the last minute..." stern talk to myself. But not yet.
So, now here I am, rapidly descending the greased slide into Christmas, having once again failed to plan, failed to do ahead, failed to budget enough time and money and see, I'm already beaten. I don't have to go through it again.
Yup, failed to use the time working shows to do some early Christmas shopping. Failed to make notes as I thought of good gift ideas througout the year. Failed to get a start on some great homemade gifts. Yah, yah, whatever. I'm going to spare myself the recriminations, the beatings, the guilt, the shame, the whatever. Like I have time for that!
Screw it. I'm going online, going to spend more than I had to -- but on the other hand, time/sanity must also be budgeted. I'm not going to make myself nuts trying to find the PERFECT gift for each person. I'm going to go with the good-enough-nice-thought gift and that WILL be good enough. I'm not going to kill myself making 12 different kinds of cookies that no one ever eats because half of them are on a diet and by the time I get up north, there will already be seven cookie trays from neighbors/friends and even though MINE will be better, I will wind up with an assload of them leftover, proceed to eat them all and wind up compounding the Halloween chocolate saddlebag issue.
I'm going to set only ONE goal this year for the holiday season: To take better care of ME.
Because you know what? I think if I do that...even if everything isn't as perfect as I wanted it, I think it will all work out just fine.
My gift to my loved ones: a not-sick, not over-tired, not stressballed Mere.