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terribleturnip

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An overdeveloped sense of fairness. [Apr. 6th, 2010|03:47 pm]
terribleturnip
So a friend's recent post about feeling less than adequate, plus another friend posting some lovely poetry she wrote and then listening to other friends rehearsing last night -- lovely singing and music and I, am pruning. Because that's what I'M good at. Great.

And then today, I decide to stop by Whole Paycheck to grab lunch and there's this incredibly fit woman, clearly just having gotten off the tennis court, is loading a container full of greasy meat stew-thing and I have a box of LETTUCE for lunch, with a Kiwi as my big dessert treat. And I carefully counted out my money from my grocery envelope -- because money's tight for us right now and putting the budget in envelopes is the only way I can stick to it. (Could I make it last longer, but not buying lunch at Whole Foods? Certainly. But I forgot to bring my lunch, HAD to get dog supplement there and had a very small window for lunch. Quit judging me. I'm holding a fork.)

And as I gimped out to my new to me, but pretty damn used to everyone else cheap-ass car and she nimbly loped out ahead of me and hopped into her Armada/Expedition/GiantAss shiny SUV, with gold detailing....I hated. HATED that bitch. Who clearly doesn't work full time, if at all. And whose sneakers cost more than the sum total of my entire outfit. Who clearly has time to work out, time to get a tan, and a manicure. Who can lope and hop. Hell, can walk without pain.

(Mind you, she could well be a very nice person, who's worked very hard to get where she is and is just taking the week off, and gets up at 4am to workout every day and today is the day she decided to splurge on lunch. But that would so NOT work with where my head was. So, sorry stranger, on you, I unleash the hate. Plus, later, when we were on the road together, you didn't use your signal...twice. And you were yapping on your cell phone before you even got out of your parking space. So, I'm probably spot-on with my original assessment.)

But seriously, wanted to just run her off the road.

Because it's just NOT FAIR.

The first major "not fair" wound remembered: When a middle school teacher, upon whom I had a major, major crush, was watching my best friend run a lap at track practice. And he said to me "Wow, isn't she incredible? Beautiful, smart, funny and runs like the wind." And I looked at him. And if I'd had a fork, I would have stuck it in him in a fit of rage. Because he was right. And I had smart and funny, but I also had graceless, chunky, and acne-ridden. Seriously -- that Robin had all of that? Plus a horse? NOT FAIR. Thank goodness Robin seemed unware of her gifts, which is why Mr. Johnson was going to get the fork, and she remained a friend until I moved away.

And here I am, more than halfway through my life, still grimly hanging onto the notion that it should be fair. That everyone should get the same amount of gifts and misery as everyone else -- and if you get more of one than the other, it's because you deserve it. You earned it, good or bad, the extra stuff.

So....how good did it feel to see that woman pulled over by a cop just ten minutes later? Oh, yeah.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sweetpea86
2010-04-06 08:16 pm (UTC)
How come when you say it doesn't sound so childish?

Reminds me of the PeeWee Herman HBO special where he gives his wish away to Miss Y-Vonne, and says he didn't do it to get anything..."but, but, the boy doesn't get anything!!

The person I mentioned in my post? Hardworking, single mom, good nurse...BUT loooooooong blonde hair, legs a mile long, lean, tan, and cute, and now? B@@Bs.

IT.AIN'T.FAIR.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-04-07 11:29 am (UTC)
Dude, I will so call you next time I plop down on the floor, sobbing "why does it have to be so HARD. It's not FAIR." Or do a full-out flouncing about the house, arms waving, slamming doors and cabinets, kicking shoes, to throw myself on the bed in full out pity-party "I can't DO this anymore. It's not FAIR!" temper tantrum. I have a direct line into my inner pre-adolescent, don't you worry.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2010-04-06 08:22 pm (UTC)
I'm starting to notice that your weapon of choice often tends to be a fork, and am starting to think that during mealtimes, I should give you lots of space.

(I almost said, "a wide berth," but then, contextually given the subject of this conversation, this is not a term to use around nautical reenactor friends. Unless of course, I want to be wearing a fork.)
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-04-07 11:30 am (UTC)
You talking 'bout the width of my berth?!

where's that fork....
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2010-04-06 09:04 pm (UTC)
I totally concur with all your feelings. and from now on, I'm only serving soup when I'm around you.
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[User Picture]From: im_geva
2010-04-06 09:22 pm (UTC)
She's probably not as good as you in bed.
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2010-04-06 09:39 pm (UTC)
Damn. Great punchline. Add that to your list of gifts, if you haven't already: "Excellent punchline delivery."
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2010-04-06 09:39 pm (UTC)
YES! I hope the cop gave her a big, fat, juicy ticket. I don't care how good you are at it, driving is NOT a time for multi-tasking. Driving IS multi-tasking.

(Having been the short, fat, acne-ridden, horseless, graceless, inept, foot-constantly-in-mouth, thick glasses girl myself, I know the feeling. She still lives inside me and comes out at the most inopportune moments.)
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[User Picture]From: giantsloth
2010-04-07 12:46 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this. These brief moments when the universe IS fair, we must share them and treasure them.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-04-07 01:19 pm (UTC)
Honey when I read your vast knowledge of the obscure and remember back when I was batting to the upper level of my intelligence circle (and realize now I'm batting mid to mid low) I wanna scream IT'S NOT FAIR.

Let's see: blonde, great gams, great ass, cooks, AND smart? Believe me if The Cap'n weren't on the scene, pyllgrum would toss me in a minute for you. Hell I would toss me in a minute for you but I don't think that's possible. Also, you're a lot nicer than I am.

So there nyah.

great about the chick getting her wonderous self pulled over in her gas guzzlin SUV

Edited at 2010-04-07 01:20 pm (UTC)
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