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Mad Special Skilz! - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Mad Special Skilz! [Sep. 22nd, 2010|11:08 am]
terribleturnip
I think I have achieved a brand new pinnacle of Klutz.

You doubt me? How about this:

On the way home from work, I stop at the grocery store for a few things. I push my shopping cart out into the parking lot and am, in my petite fragile flower fashion, pushing it up a slight incline to where my car is parked.

I suddenly find myself doing a split in the parking lot. I have managed to step with one foot ONTO the wheel of shopping cart, so that as I pushed it forward, I rolled my leg much farther forward than my center of gravity really allows.

I did stop myself from doing an ACTUAL split all the way onto the blacktop...but only by pulling a thigh muscle, several back muscle and the TOP of my other foot, which was desperately trying to form a CLAW within my dress shoe to get enough purchase to pull me back to an upright position.

I had to stop for a minute, once I recovered, and gather myself. New hurts in strange places. I looked around to see if anyone noticed...but of course, it's DC, the only place slightly less likely than New York to notice oddities. Breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't actually go down all the way and started to push again.

Only to REPEAT THE SAME EXACT THING WITH MY VERY FIRST STEP.

Seriously. If there were a gold medal for high achievement in f-ing up simple physical acts, I would make Mark Spitz/Michael Phelps (depending on your age) look like a lightweight.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: bittibuddha
2010-09-22 04:16 pm (UTC)

~clap clap clap~

9.9 from the Russian Judge!!
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-09-22 04:55 pm (UTC)

Re: ~clap clap clap~

extra points for difficulty and nailing the (aborted) landing.
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2010-09-22 06:14 pm (UTC)

Re: ~clap clap clap~ A Peek Into The Future

This story will be the basis for an inspirational "get to know the athletes" commercial during the next para-olympics...about how you came back from adversity and all that crap. It will be inspiring the first several times we watch it. By the end of the week (after 1,312 showings) we will be openly mocking you.
You will complain to your friends that the placement of the Banc Of Amerika logo at the end of the commercial makes your ass look big. We will agree.

PS It seems you were right about the mantids and cockroaches. They've rearranged the order since I last payed attention to it. Damn you.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-09-22 07:47 pm (UTC)

Re: ~clap clap clap~ A Peek Into The Future

This is how much I love you: on Monday I looked it up and thought "ah-ha, I was right!" But figured I'd just let it slide....who knows, they might rearrange everything next week.

(Did you find the Tree of Life site, though? Cool as Beans.)
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2010-09-22 08:05 pm (UTC)

"ah-ha, I was right!"

Yes, you are right now, but 25 years ago you would not have been. :-)
I was pretty shocked*. They also are vaguely tossing termites in the mix too. I dunno if I agree. Is there some international insect organization that one can picket to set things right again?


*well, as shocked as one can get while musing over insect taxonomy. Compared with my feelings about Glen Beck & the rest of THOSE insects it's pretty far down on the scale.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-09-23 12:25 am (UTC)

Re: "ah-ha, I was right!"

would you two just get a room already?

:)

Edited at 2010-09-23 12:25 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2010-09-22 05:11 pm (UTC)
I love you.....

So, we're all pitching in on the extra protective helmet for Christmas, right?
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2010-09-22 05:54 pm (UTC)
It's a good thing you don't drink coffee, I would feel the need to defend my title as the World's Greatest Coffee Spiller, and there aren't enough mops and buckets in the world to deal with that.

I'm going to stare at the wheels of my shopping cart the next time I go to the grocery store, thus guarantee-ing that I plow into a parked or moving car.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2010-09-22 08:41 pm (UTC)
Isn't this how the cartwheel thing got started?
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-09-23 12:23 am (UTC)
Sweetie, pyllgrum passed you last weekend on the World's Greatest Coffee Spiller trophy when coffee has hit the sink, the floor, the dishwasher, the cat ......

me .......


Of course he's only competing in Special Olympics so you're probably safe.

yes I know it's safe to joke on here ... and if Mere starts regaining her balance I'll just let Jon bump into her a few times - keep her in line as it were.

Edited at 2010-09-23 12:24 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: sweetpea86
2010-09-22 06:18 pm (UTC)
All I can think about is your foot in the form of a claw.

Its...disturbing.
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2010-09-22 07:07 pm (UTC)
Stop inventing new yoga poses without me!!!!!
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[User Picture]From: furrball
2010-09-22 10:55 pm (UTC)
I am awe-inspiredly impressed.
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2010-09-23 10:46 pm (UTC)
Ooh, no fun. :( Especially the immediate repeat.
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