|Mad Special Skilz!
||[Sep. 22nd, 2010|11:08 am]
I think I have achieved a brand new pinnacle of Klutz. |
You doubt me? How about this:
On the way home from work, I stop at the grocery store for a few things. I push my shopping cart out into the parking lot and am, in my petite fragile flower fashion, pushing it up a slight incline to where my car is parked.
I suddenly find myself doing a split in the parking lot. I have managed to step with one foot ONTO the wheel of shopping cart, so that as I pushed it forward, I rolled my leg much farther forward than my center of gravity really allows.
I did stop myself from doing an ACTUAL split all the way onto the blacktop...but only by pulling a thigh muscle, several back muscle and the TOP of my other foot, which was desperately trying to form a CLAW within my dress shoe to get enough purchase to pull me back to an upright position.
I had to stop for a minute, once I recovered, and gather myself. New hurts in strange places. I looked around to see if anyone noticed...but of course, it's DC, the only place slightly less likely than New York to notice oddities. Breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't actually go down all the way and started to push again.
Only to REPEAT THE SAME EXACT THING WITH MY VERY FIRST STEP.
Seriously. If there were a gold medal for high achievement in f-ing up simple physical acts, I would make Mark Spitz/Michael Phelps (depending on your age) look like a lightweight.