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Happy Seriously You Wouldn't Have So Many Rodents, if You Had Snakes Day! - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Happy Seriously You Wouldn't Have So Many Rodents, if You Had Snakes Day! [Mar. 17th, 2011|12:49 pm]
terribleturnip
Waddya want from someone who's English, Scottish, German, Danish and French?

Although I'm not wearing green because...I don't actually own any green clothes. A t-shirt, that's the best I can do. And that wouldn't go over very well at work.

I'd buy something green, but apparently that hasn't been in style for decades. Unless you count that lime/chartreuse color that was fashionable a couple of years ago. Now we're on to what - pink and beige? Orange? Seriously, fashion designers, by all means, tell me "Hey, orange is hot this year!" and that's fine, but throw me a bone and give me a "But for you pasty white chicks, here's a forest green".

Although I'm completely green on the inside, so that counts, right? Honestly, at the rate I'm eating salads instead of "real" food, I will have rabbit ears just in time for Easter.

Which would be fine, except that I don't feel like I'm really seeing a lot of results. Honestly, almost sober all week long...no wait, I meant to say sober almost all week long. (See children, WHERE you put the word is just as important as which word.) Apparently I'm in a tug of war with my metabolism and even THAT'S not burning enough calories.

I was commiserating with a colleague -- how last time I lost a lot of weight, it was so much easier. And she asked "well, how'd you do it then?"

And I said "Oh, well, I got divorced, drank booze instead of eating and had very athletic sex with younger men. But I don't think my liver or my boyfriend would approve of that plan this time around."

Probably NOT the best thing to share at work while facing the elevators, not having noticed the large number of colleagues who had CREPT SILENTLY up behind you.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2011-03-17 07:15 pm (UTC)
I have the same issue. Last time I dropped a lot of weight, I was doing an ugly divorce, living on Starkist to-go meals and "soup at hand," and breakfasts and desserts were coffee and cigarettes.
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[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2011-03-17 07:44 pm (UTC)
not having noticed the large number of colleagues who had CREPT SILENTLY up behind you

no worries ... from that position, the men were admiring your ass and probably didn't hear a word you said
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2011-03-17 11:58 pm (UTC)
The least I weighed in the last decade was the five minutes between when I stepped on the scale at the urologist's office for my vasectomy and when I was selling a house, buying a house and going through a divorce.
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2011-03-18 02:21 am (UTC)
I highly recommend the flu, so go lick a pre-school kid.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2011-03-18 03:37 am (UTC)
Yes, Miss "Don't Lick Me."
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2011-03-18 02:22 am (UTC)
ps I liked it better when it said "...almost sober all week" That's a statement I can support.
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