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terribleturnip

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Apropos of Nothing... [Jun. 23rd, 2011|08:27 am]
terribleturnip
Now there's a cliche you hardly ever hear anymore. I'm going to try and resurrect some of these moldy oldies. Because if I hear "at the end of the day" one more time, I'm going to plotz.

Because my freaking job isn't hard enough...they've closed down Cedar Lane Bridge for repairs for the summer. Which means instead of having 2 months of breezy commuting because the Catholic school I have to pass (with its lines of helicopter parents who've never heard of carpools dropping off their spawn)is closed...my commute now takes 45 minutes in the morning. To go 12 miles. And 8 of those miles are on 270 where I can go a speed somewhat higher than the speed limit. So, 40 minutes to 4 miles. How awesome is that?

Yes, I still have no attention span to devote to finishing any of long posts that I have sitting in Drafts. Right now, every fiber of my being is devoted to: MOM VISIT. I know she loves me, and she doesn't mean to judge...but she will. In my rational moments, I don't fault her for this. I do it to. It's genetic and unkind and we try NOT to. But it happens. The difference is -- I judge and have to laugh because I judge myself at the same time and usually come up short. My mother, on the other hand, tends to, at least on the surface, have it together. She gets dressed in the morning and she always looks great. Neat as a pin, totally accessorized, great fashion sense...and will look that way all day.

To a certain extent, I've semi-solved with Chico's Travelers, aka Garanimals for Adult Women. And it's all black in my closet, so I can fake the matching. But I get to work and realize that I got earrings on, but forgot rings or necklace. Yesterday I got the rings and necklace, but got to the ladies room and realized I forgot earrings. Already I've spilled something on my skirt. There are cat hairs sticking to one calf and when I opened up my breakfast snack when I got to work there was an ant in it.

I feel as if I was switched at birth.

And my self-esteem is already feeling a bit shredded, so I'm dangerously vulnerable to taking it seriously. So, I've got a couple of hours to gird up.

It's not helped by me struggling with opening up the new hand soap this morning -- I'm always baffled by the pump dispensers that you have to rotate around until they pop up. There I am, turning and turning and hey is that the right direction? No...yes...I dunno...until eventually it pops up and I'm not really sure how I made it happen. Today, though, was a stellar moment. I didn't struggle all that long and finally it popped up - BINK! Shooting a was of soap directly into my EYE.

Because shaky self-esteem is definitely bolstered by having a big red itchy eye.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2011-06-23 01:09 pm (UTC)

I always reading enjoy your perspectives on life as it is for you ... sometimes I laugh, sometimes I see a point that is important ... but mostly I just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug


Because shaky self-esteem is definitely bolstered by having a big red itchy eye.

you need to figure out how to make the other eye twitch ... ya know, to balance things

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2011-06-23 03:03 pm (UTC)
It makes me feel better knowing that. Although I'd prefer the nibble you'd offered on an earlier post. THAT made me feel really better. Albeit in a not able to concentrate for a while kind of way...
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[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2011-06-24 12:01 pm (UTC)
well my dear, I have a nibble and nuzzle with your name on it



I always reading enjoy

I swear that was not how I remember typing that ...
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2011-06-23 01:16 pm (UTC)
On the subject of shaky self-esteem; you should know that I constantly marvel at all the stuff you manage to do and do so well. You are pretty darn amazing, and I'm not sure how you do it. Hang in there during the "Mom Visit". At least remember that it is only a VISIT. That means she'll be leaving. Hugs.

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2011-06-23 03:01 pm (UTC)
See and I admire that in order to achieve your goals, you're LIVING with your mother. I love my mom and the part of me that's not feeling completely inadequate as a human being (yeah, sure I do all that STUFF. But apparently I can't keep the cobwebs at a dull roar. Or remember to buy light bulbs. How hard is THAT? For me, rocket surgery!) is really looking forward to spending time with her and I wish she could stay for several days. But daily contact...we'd have to have separate areas of the house and I'd have to have a deadbolt on my area.
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2011-06-23 11:01 pm (UTC)

deadbolts

hmmm why didn't I think of a deadbolt??? LOL! Yeah, it's no easy feat living here...not sure I'm succeeding at making it a harmonious time for all concerned, but the countdown is on....
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2011-06-23 04:29 pm (UTC)
Truly, you are God's whoopie cushion. And we all thank you for providing that service so we don't have to.

Hey, if you already have one house guest coming, why not invite more? (Not to stay, just for dinner.) Some of the more dysfunctional people you know would make you look downright Stepford Wife-like in comparison.

I imagine you already know plenty, but if you need it, I have a list of prospects.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2011-06-24 08:45 pm (UTC)
"I am God's whoopie cushion" has now become my new motto.

I HAVE threatened to take her on a house tour -- stop by and visit friends and neighbors who make me seem Martha Stewart-like in comparison. But I've found that never works. We've never moved beyond "Well, just because your friends all jump off the Brooklyn Bridge..." This is still valid reasoning in my family.

If I invited wacky friends over...she'd just tell me I should reconsider my social circle. Like the time I found a picture of me flanked by two women who were...considerably...heavier than I was. THAT got a "well, no wonder you're having trouble losing weight, with those poor women for company." That was a double whammy -- I didn't even KNOW those women, and now I felt guilty that my Mom was ragging on them. Sigh.
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2011-06-24 10:07 pm (UTC)
Damn. She is a pro. I almost admire her skill.
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