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terribleturnip

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Because... [Jul. 8th, 2011|02:45 pm]
terribleturnip
It's Friday, Severe Weather is on Its Way, and apparently in addition to forgetting earrings, I also forgot to put in my brains today.

From the latter to the former:

I just stood in our lobby, shook up a DMD can and held it to my ear, threatening to pull the tab and blow my brains out. And then a colleague asked me if I was certain there was anything in there to blow out.

That's when I realized that maybe there was an ACTUAL reason why everything seemed just a little bit harder today. Brains...like glasses, very hard to find when you're not wearing them in the first place.

When did the various weather services become such Drama Queens? Yah, yah, yah, damaging winds, hail, flash floods, wombat entrails. I am INURED. No one ever uses that word anymore; I thought I should bring it out and dust it off. 24 hour news, gabillion channels/outlets...I predict inured becomes a lifestyle.

Friday -- well, here we are again. I'm beginning to feel as if I get all excited, can't wait until it's Friday until Sunday when I realize that the weekend is just the antechamber to Hell Week. I've never gone this long without a vacation...and while I didn't think it would be a such a big deal, APPARENTLY IT IS.


Here are some things that saved my sanity this week:

I'm not saying this is completely accurate, but if you're in the right age range, you'll find this funny as hell. Or not. But don't tell me; I don't want to think less of you.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-80s-band-says-about-you

Fetch turned me onto this site, that I tap for relief when the Futile gets tired of laying at my feet and insists on draping itself across my lap in all its sharp, pokey glory. This one particularly delights me:
Dear desk chair manufacturers,
There is no reason why they should lean back that far.
Sincerely, was sure I was about to die for a second.

Because I am that person in that chair, in the middle of an important meeting, and I lean back and...am never subtle about almost dying. So here, you too can have a retreat that makes you smile:
http://dearblankpleaseblank.com/

Oh, I know that in some ways, Australia's a little behind the times in spots, especially concerning women and minorities. But on THIS -- spot on. Plus "god bothering" as a punishable offense...how awesome is that?
http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2011/06/concerns-that-god-bothering-dentist.html

I've never really given Prince Phillip much thought. But after reading this article, I'm pretty sure my family must be hanging off some branch on his family tree, because he sounds just like my grandmother. Some of you are saying "And you with a couple of ciders under your belt, missy." Talk quieter. I can HEAR you.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ninety-gaffes-in-ninety-years-2290148.html

You may think the promised Rapture date came and went with nothing to show for it. Just remember that was a SINGLE cult, er, group's date. Everyone else knows it's still on the calendar, but that it's not SCHEDULED on a calendar, for crying out loud. You've got to watch for the SIGNS. And so, we come full circle: a "weather" service for the Rapture.
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2011-07-08 07:53 pm (UTC)
No Hall & Oates?

Marginalized again.

I think you are right... inured is becoming a lifestyle. That in combination with the rampant carelessness and entitlement (how DARE you tell me I can't text and drive at the same time?) I see everywhere makes me think that it won't be AIDS or cancer that ultimately thins our herd, but us.

Well, THAT'S a pleasant thought to begin the weekend...
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[User Picture]From: queenmaggie
2011-07-08 08:03 pm (UTC)
I really really love the visual of "wombat entrails" (I once won a boggle game because I knew exactly what a wombat was. Not to mention, a "discussion" with my father)
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2011-07-08 08:34 pm (UTC)
Oh I still listen to the drama queens and kings on the weather. See for me they're funny. I tell pyllgrum oh look it's going to hook. Then it does. Then 2-3 minutes later the words tornado warning appear. no duh. Hook. Doppler Radar. STFU and let me just watch this shit mkay? I'm 'sperienced n shit. You don't need to update me ever bleepin second.

That's why [insert diety or non diety of choice] invented the mute button.
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[User Picture]From: silvrwillow
2011-07-08 09:43 pm (UTC)
Heh - love it. Especially because one of my Word-of-the-Week words this week was: inure!
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[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2011-07-09 03:24 am (UTC)
We really need to figure how to get the phrase "god bothering" into the general parlance here in the States.
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2011-07-09 05:16 pm (UTC)
We saw a headline on a little local paper in Wisconsin once that read, "Weather: Is it out of control?"
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