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Garlic Roasted Broccoli - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Garlic Roasted Broccoli [Nov. 23rd, 2011|09:49 am]
terribleturnip
Garlic Roasted Broccoli
Preheat oven to 375. Cut the broccoli into florets with stems. If stem is relatively thin, leave it alone. If thick, cut floret and stem in half lengthwise to expose inside of the stem, which will ensure that it cooks at the same rate as the rest of the broccoli.

Slice several cloves of garlic very thinly. If you don’t have a garlic mandolin, do the best you can with a knife.
But you should get a garlic mandolin. http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?SKU=10512484



Put in a large bowl, toss in a generous amount of coarse salt, pour olive oil (doesn’t have to be Extra Virgin) over top and mix until all of the florets are coated with oil. Use a lot. There should be some olive oil left in the bowl afterwards. Spread out on a baking sheet and roast in a 375 degree oven until done. You want the broccoli to be browned all over, but not burnt to a crisp. The florets should be evenly browned, almost looking like they’re burnt and the stems just turning brown, except where they’re really thin and they will also look almost burnt.

Most common mistakes: not enough oil, crowding it on the sheet and not cooking it long enough. So, use more oil than you think it calls for, don't cram the broccoli like Japanese commuters on a train and be brave and cook it for another 5-10 minutes. Also, if you're going to rinse it, rinse it a half an hour or more beforehand and really let it dry -- otherwise you're going to have steaming going on.

I can't tell you how long to cook it. I have no idea when I put it in there...although it would have to be a least 20 minutes to a half an hour. Maybe longer. Some of it depends on thickness, preheating, etc. It's not rocket surgery, just broccoli.

How much....well, to fill a 13x18 rolled rim baking sheet (and that's what you want to cook it on. High sides -- like crowding, not enough oil, will just make it steam. Which is not horrible, but you aren't going to get the same result aa a 13x18 rolled rim baking sheet) I would fill one typical grocery store produce bag with broccoli crowns. Assuming that like my grocery store, crown has come to mean "a little bit less stem than bunched broccoli, but really just that big honking, knobbyish part".

Fill, as in one of the damned pieces is going to fall out at one point, and probably down the side of the cart where the kiddie seat is and you'll get your arm caught trying to get it back out and you'll use an expletive in the grocery aisle and parents with children will give you The Look. But you won't care because the shopping cart has eaten your expletive arm and if they didn't insist on bringing their little preciouses to the grocery store in the first place, not only would the grocery store be a much more pleasant experience, now that it lacked screaming and temper tantrums and four year olds taking up the entire aisle, trying to master the art of turning the cart in a particular direction and eight year olds running their expletive shopping cart right up the back of your ankles. Not to mention, there wouldn't BE kid seats and your arm would be a free agent.

Ahem.

Anyway, I would use a very full bag of broccoli crowns, most of a head of garlic, to fill one baking sheet to feed four people as a main side vegetable. (By main side vegetable, I mean, as opposed to a Thanksgiving feast, or potluck item.)

It can be kept refrigerated for several days, and just brought up to room temperature for serving, although you can reheat it if you want. It can also be frozen - the flavor will still be awesome, but you'll lose the firmness.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ginger_rose
2011-11-23 06:59 pm (UTC)

Thank you

Thanks! I was about to dig through my notes for your recipe when I saw your post. ;)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2011-11-23 08:07 pm (UTC)
Funniest. Recipe. Ever.

Thanks!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2011-11-24 02:43 am (UTC)
Ah, one more kitchen gadget I need, along with the clam groater and the lemon smelter.
(Reply) (Thread)