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This is EXACTLY why I can't get everything done. - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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This is EXACTLY why I can't get everything done. [Apr. 10th, 2012|10:06 pm]
terribleturnip
I'm not a huge fan of tulips. They're so damn upright and penile when they're out in the yard, before blossoming, and then when they do blossom...the contrast between the upright, uptight bloom and the blowsy, I can't take it anymore, I'm just going to flop around randomly, leaves...unsettles me.

I like them much better in a vase...because they keep growing after you cut them and then they get all snakey and going places and you just have to admire a bloom that says dude, I will grow on WATER ALONE. I will grow out of this vase in the middle of the night and choke you to death in your own bed you snoring tulip killer, you, that's how badass I am. Then give me the parrot, frilly ones? Okay, all is forgiven, because they're gorgeous when they're opening and then super alien unnerving when they're all the way open and the theme song to Little Shop of Horrors runs through my dreams all night long.

Yes, I have issues. Make fun of me and I will mail you tulips. Angry tulips. HOLDING A GRUDGE tulips.



Small wonder my college professors steered me away from journalism. "You like words a bit...TOO...much. More than the point, really." said one. No argument.

Anyhoo...

Well, one of my parrot tulips is in full Audrey. Her petals are splayed back, all fringy, yellow with a bold bloody landing strip on each one, and I thought, oh, that would be a cool post and I could include the picture.

So, I found my camera. Got everything lined up. Oh. Full CF card. Okay, I'll just download 'em and get on with it. But this CF card is so old it only holds 512 MB and my picture software doesn't seem to think there's anything on it. But there is. So, I fiddle around, convince it I don't want to DOWNLOAD, just LOOK at them. Which it lets me do. Then, when the software's not paying attention, I quickly select all and then hit download. Or upload. Whatever. I fooled it. Whew. Because I would hate to lose those Christmas pictures from two years ago.

So, load the card back in, erase the data, frame the picture, decide it's too much flash, dick around with settings, the light and...there goes the battery. But ha! I have another battery. Which is also dead. So I dig out the charger, load it in and in three minutes the battery is fully charged. Hmph.

Put it in the camera...oh, not, it's not. Try the other one...same thing. So, at this point either my camera is lying, my batteries are lying or my charger is lying. I manage to eke out enough juice from one of them to suspect that my charger is lying or my batteries are as old as my 512 MB flashcard and like my mind, rapidly losing the ability to hold on to anything for very long.

I quickly take a picture before there's a torrential downpour of frogs or something but of course, while I was futzing around, the damn thing opened up even further and now just looks like an overblown parrot tulip. Which could just mean that I've sobered up.

Just kidding. God. One mojito in a fairly small glass, on top of a stomach filled with rice and beans and picadillo. Get off my back, I was FINE. Judgmental expletives.

So, now I have a picture of a tulip on my camera...and the thought of downloading it, adjusting color, lighting, cropping, and then making my rusty brain remember how to get it put here on this post?

Yeah. It's past my bedtime. How do you people DO it? This is exhausting.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2012-04-11 02:10 am (UTC)
Small wonder my college professors steered me away from journalism. "You like words a bit...TOO...much. More than the point, really."

They were doing you a favor. You'd just kill an editor before you graduated and they thought it would be a waste for you to spend your life in prison.
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2012-04-11 04:25 am (UTC)
You'd just kill an editor before you graduated...

Or fight back furious tears in front of one after working for too many years at shitty weeklies for shitty pay. Which is really humiliating... so I hear.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2012-04-11 04:28 am (UTC)
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. ;)
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[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2012-04-11 01:18 pm (UTC)
I've got tulips popping up now in places where I thought they had long since died, especially since they didn't come up last year

could our extended summer, posing as winter 2011, have had something to do with this?
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2012-04-11 01:31 pm (UTC)
More likely bad conditions two springs ago, or some stressor in between -- insects, drought. Or even natural cycle of that variety. Sometimes bulbs have to rest and just store nutrients -- they may "judge" that they're better off conserving strength for a year to come back stronger, than expend themselves in a weak season. They're probably hybrids, so it's a moot point for them, reproduction-wise, but that would be the "drive". Did they suffer damage to leaves the last time they came up? I know that one year, right after they stopped blooming, my husband mowed them over with the lawn mower, essentially taking off most of their leaves. They didn't come up the next year - -since post-bloom is when the leaves really work at storing energy to send down to the bulb for the next season -- so they stayed dormant until they built up strength the slow way.
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