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How to survive a Renaissance Faire in the post-45 years - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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How to survive a Renaissance Faire in the post-45 years [Sep. 17th, 2012|10:20 pm]
terribleturnip
Remember that you're closer to crone than maiden, so perhaps going out carousing with twenty and thirty year olds...well, there's nothing wrong with that. But you're old, so go home early and let the kids have their fun. Otherwise you wind up at a club on the dance floor and some giant drunken oaf made of cement and cannon balls will lose his balance and fall dramatically across the dance fall, breaking his descent with your bad knee and calf muscle. And you can take all that pride you had in keeping yourself in good non-limping shape and set it on FIRE.

But more productively:

Begin taking naproxen on Friday night and continue to take it every twelve hours until Monday night. It heads off a lot. Did I do that this weekend? No. Be smarter than I am.

Anti-perspirant is for more than just your pits. Roll that crap on anywhere that your precious flesh might rub against something chafing, especially in hot humid weather -- around your waist, where bodice boning ends, between your thighs. It keeps that area from sweating and so it's less likely to chafe. (You're not going to die by putting a half a square foot of antiperspirant on. Seriously.) Anyplace your sweaty self might have to confront something that might irritate it. Which explains why I just douse myself in it, because there is a lot of irritation in my day. If I could get it onto my brain, that would be awesome.

Bandage tape -- that thick white slick stuff, can be put on the inside of clothes - seams, the ends of boning to further reduce irritation. It provides padding and also lets things glide against each other.

Consider strapping up ankles, knees or wrists with VetWrap. (Discover you have a mild latex allergy. Solve it by strapping over socks, which works until you sweat, see Anti-perspirant, above.) The knock-off versions of VetWrap don't cling nearly as well, so don't be a cheap bastard. However, it's almost always cheaper sold through horse-focused outlets, such as Dover Saddlery, than through a human store. It's also handy as hell in your McGyver toolkit, as it's strong like Duct tape, but stretches a little and sticks to itself and doesn't leave goo behind. (Unless you have a latex allergy, and, then, well, there might be goo if you don't take that off in a timely manner.)

Emergen-C. Little packets, dumped in water, that will pump you up with vitamins and electrolytes, yet curiously don't taste gross like Gatorade. Essential if you had too much fun the night before, and what you need midday, no matter what.

Spray on bandage. Nothing says modern day like a Bandaid. But the fake 16th century is waiting to cut you. So mock it by dealing with, and still be period-appropriate looking.

A tiny flashlight that will fit in your pouch. Because you never want to go into a dark privy at O-Drunk-Thirty without being able to scope it out first.

Exit lines. Many, many exit lines. Having a tiny bladder and a near addiction to Diet Mountain Dew, I have a ready made one...but you should probably practice.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2012-09-18 02:36 am (UTC)
I adore Emergen-C. I used to get sick after being stressed for extended periods, but I discovered that stuff during quals and, if I remember to drink it when things start getting nuts, I don't get the "it's been a hell of a week" flu any more.
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[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2012-09-18 11:58 am (UTC)
I'd add: Insoles, chapstick, and rememerbing to actualy something before evening cannon.
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[User Picture]From: thewhitedragon
2012-09-18 01:19 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I've noticed that I don't limp for two days afterwards since I've been using insoles. Marvelous things, lemme tell ya!
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2012-09-18 02:29 pm (UTC)
Wait, is anyone NOT wearing insoles? I thought that was sort of like water and oxygen....but then again, I'm used to working all day on my feet and you learn that real early.
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[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2012-09-18 07:35 pm (UTC)
yeah ... my boots would be killing me without those nice sport insoles with the awesome arch support

but I do know some folks who rough it without them ... not sure why
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From: kudrasslipper
2012-09-18 01:02 pm (UTC)
I'm adding one - a rule that everyone should follow - most notably myself, because it is a TRUE rookie mistake: DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, get involved in a "serious" relationship discussion with ANYONE. Especially not your slightly inebriated fiance. It is neither the time nor place for anything approaching "serious." ::face palm::
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2012-09-18 02:31 pm (UTC)
True that. Save the serious relationship discussion for when you're both in a bar and inebriated. Because that's way more interesting -- the drama shows off better.

Er, not that I've ever.....
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