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Today's Band Name: Sarcastic Fringehead - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Today's Band Name: Sarcastic Fringehead [Apr. 23rd, 2013|03:35 pm]
terribleturnip
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Lest you think I'm all sweetness and light, thanks to spring....

I stopped blogging about the weight loss contest, simply because I ran out of time/energy/mojo to blog about anything. But here, I don't want you to think I'm hiding anything from you. Five weeks, four pounds and change lost. And then I think two came back the week after.

Note to self: working on opening a renaissance faire, planning a major familial event, a sinus infection, being covered in hives...and then the allergic reaction to the hives themselves, plus having to make an end of life decision for a pet, and lend support to two other people going through that themselves...not conducive to losing weight. Since my weight-loss plan mostly consists of cutting back on alcohol and girding my mental armor so that I don't eat for stupid reasons like stress or comfort.

When you're whole body itches, you've got a deadline on submitting menu to the caterer, and you're putting off calling the vet to make a euthanasia appointment, "Now, you really shouldn't have a bag of Cheez-It's, you're not even hungry. Why don't you have an apple, instead?" doesn't fly. Expletive you! Now I'm going to have TWO bags.

But okay, every day is another chance to do better. And here I am, having been successful at cutting my Diet Mountain Dew consumption in half, and having had only vegetables today and as long as I don't kill anyone because of it, I might be back on the wagon, sans peer pressure, hives and a lot of the other stuff. Or not. This time of year I'm so busy that there's little room in my head for worrying about it.

Hey, remember when I said I couldn't complain about hot flashes because I was only having relatively minor symptoms? Yeah, apparently my hypothalamus took that for gauntlet-throwing, because, although the frequency is down, the intensitity is up. Yeah, full out dripping with sweat. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome that is. I can't, because it's NOT. I'm just glad that we know the risks of hormone replacement therapy so that I don't have to make the ethical decision about whether I can live with doing that to a horse. I'm spinning it this way: yet another excuse for irascibility. I'm sorry, I can't HEAR you, I'm sweating too loudly.

But hey, I also get to feel small, whiney, and selfish, because there's a species of aphid that when they hit menopause, instead of making eggs, they now secrete a sticky substance and if a predator threatens their family group of aphids...the grandma aphids throw their bodies at the predator, superglueing themselves to it until it leaves or dies. How awesome is that? This article is more about the possible evolutionary reason for menopause to have survived as a trait, but has the neat facts about the Superglue Grandma aphids in it.
http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/04/18/why-menopause/

That's what keeps me cheery -- superglue-y grandma aphids. Learning that fruitbats perform oral sex on each other. That when you tickle rats, they make ultrasonic noises that are identical to the sounds young rats make when they're playing with each other. So, you could say, really, that rats laugh when you tickle them. Take THAT, "humans are the only animals that laugh" proponents.

Plus, I thought I was beside myself with joy when I learned that there was actually a fish called the Sarcastic Fringehead. Then I saw what it looked like:

http://io9.com/5911216/meet-the-sarcastic-fringehead-an-oddly-named-fish-who-looks-like-the-predator

Whatever else that's going on in your life that's sad, bad or otherwise sapping, there is a fish that can do THAT. And that's enough awesomeness to carry you for a couple of hours, isn't it?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2013-04-30 10:36 pm (UTC)
I've been really bad at keeping up with livejournal lately, okay, all year, and only check in now and then. Mostly to read your posts. Okay, ONLY to read your posts!

Dadgaderie wants to know if Sarcastic Fringeheads perform oral sex on each other.

In other news, I eliminated my hot flashes using Emotional Freeing Technique. It took persistence but after a month or so they stopped completely and haven't returned.

As for limiting your Diet Mountain Dew- thanks for telling me about this! I was contemplating buying stock and now I know better.

BLOG, darn you, BLOG!!!

PS Dinner before we leave for the West???
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2013-04-30 10:40 pm (UTC)
PPS Did you know that menopausal Orcas (at least, the ones in the PNW region) actively solicit sex from young male Orcas and indulge in lots of sex with them? It's apparently a training mechanism so that when those young studs find mates they know what to do. Or else those grandma dolphins are just using that as an excuse...
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