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Art, Booze, and Civility - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Art, Booze, and Civility [Sep. 20th, 2013|10:31 am]
terribleturnip
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http://themetapicture.com/how-to-recognize-the-artists-of-paintings/

I know this was on facebook, but I found it inordinately delightful. In many cases, it helped me recognize what it is that BUGGED me about a given artist. I’m looking at YOU, Carvaggio. I remember needing to make a conscious effort with Breughel and Bosch to remember which one was the really crazy vs just slightly unnerving.

No matter how badly your day is going, there is something about loading your car up with $200 worth of booze during your lunchbreak that makes you feel much, much better.

I’m going to share some social rules with you, because clearly many, many parents have failed their children in this regard and while I’m the first person to say “look, a handwritten thank you note is lovely…but seriously an e-mail, text, or just telling me conversationally is perfectly acceptable” I feel like THESE rules are sliding a bit too far south for me.

When you are invited to someone’s house for dinner, you’re supposed to bring something as a host/hostess gift. It can be small, it can be inexpensive, a little jar of jam or pickles you made or bought, a beautiful bloom you picked form your garden, or handful of herbs, a card with a little poem about friendship, or you can go with the old standbys of a bottle of wine or flowers. But really, it should be something. Sometimes you forget. Or were in a hurry and honestly, it’s better to be on time and empty handed. But later, a couple of days after the dinner – a card or e-mail is thoughtful. Exceptions: you guys get together all the time, so it’s pretty much a family dinner; you’re just getting together for takeout; it’s spur of the moment; you were specifically asked or expected to bring food or some other supply.

And remember, both host/hostess and hosted: technically speaking, the wine is NOT to be drunk that evening. Gift, as in for the host/hostess LATER. If you want to bring something to drink that night, go for it (although understand that your host/hostess may well have chosen specific wines for each course and doesn’t want your Cab Sauv muscling in where it wasn’t invited) just bring two bottles then. (I’ll admit, I’ll let this one slide if you bring me wine, mostly because my friends and I can do rip through some SERIOUS quantities of wine. But if you see me sneaking off with something lovely that you brought and hiding it, don’t rat me out.

And if the invite says 7:30pm…you do NOT arrive before. Park your car a block away and chill. Four to fourteen minutes late is the acceptable time to arrive. Exceptions: It’s a surprise party so you really need to be there on time so you don’t blow the surprise (if you’re throwing one, make sure you tell your guests not only when they need to be there, but also when you expect the surprisee to arrive, so if they’re running late, they know when they just need to wait a block away so they don’t blow the surprise.); there’s some other time sensitive activity; you’ve been asked to help out, or checked ahead of time to see if you arriving early would help.

To be clear: this is not directed at any specific person, or occasion. If right now you’re feeling guilty, wondering if the last time I had you over…heh, remember, it’s ME. I have told people that they’re early and they need to go back home or go sit in the car because it’s not time yet. My Danish is far better than my Subtle…and the only things I can say in Danish are Thank you and Beer.

I have gotten all lazy about using LJ cuts unless I'm thinking that things got egregiously long. If I'm messing up your friends feed with crazy long posts, do let me know. Now that so many bloggers are trying to up the number of clicks to make ad revenue grow, I find myself getting annoyed at having to click through. But if I'm making you have to click more on your friend feed, well, THAT'S not fair.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2013-09-20 04:01 pm (UTC)
I think you could be VERY successful writing an informational, and entertaining, self help column ... call it something like "The Short Simple Rules of Life"

once a week, you choose a peeve, and instruct others how not to be the peever (not sure if that's even a word since spell check tagged it, but I'm using it - definition : one who peeves others)

there are so many people who could make use of such information

and I am not talking about just this specific post of today ... you are a tremendous resource of humorous hints of life
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[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2013-09-20 08:27 pm (UTC)
Very, very few people do this any more. In fact, you are one of the few who does still in my experience.

Also, we love what you brought last night - and Tox couldn't stand not opening it up. But then, we did go through quite a bit LOL.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2013-09-23 12:48 pm (UTC)
When you are host/hostess, you can do whatever you want. Especially when you're with your "ooh, what does THAT taste like?" friends. You just shouldn't feel OBLIGATED to share/use it right then and there. This is a windmill I'll tilt against forever, probably. But happily.
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[User Picture]From: giantsloth
2013-09-21 02:36 pm (UTC)
The when-to-arrive thing can be tough. With some of my hipster (for lack of a better term) friends, "fashionably late" means that you shouldn't get there until at least an hour after the stated time. If you show up before that, you'll be there alone, terminally uncool. Whereas with my theater friends, most of them expect you to be there on the dot.
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[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2013-09-23 12:37 pm (UTC)
"And if the invite says 7:30pm…you do NOT arrive before"

YES!!!!!! I have at least one huffy guest a year, sent back to thier car.

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