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No longer a pirate missy... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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No longer a pirate missy... [Jul. 16th, 2007|08:29 am]
terribleturnip
[Current Music |XTC, Towers of London]

As Mistress Fetch well knows, you're know longer a missy when you do it for money...

So having been hired to be a pirate at a shopping mall, I must relinquish my Pirate Missy status.

And I thought I'd feel...lame...or a joke...all dressed up and handing out treasure maps to kids in a....strip mall...buoyed only by the thought that, well, at least I'm getting PAID for it. And pirate is a hell of a lot more comfortable a costume than Big Bird, the last time I dressed up for money. (Don't ask.)

But after more than two and a half decades of having to deal with consumers/customers in street clothes or store uniforms, boy, let me tell you how freeing it is to do it in character. Sure, truth is, any really good retail worker IS in character -- the helpful, patient, attentive character. But pirate -- license to be bad!

"But I thought you said you were out of treasure maps" the customer whined when I came around the corner brandishing a new batch that had been liberated from a less active area of the mall.

"I lied! Pirate! That's what we do." Hell, after all of these years of apologizing and explaining and near groveling to customers...that felt fabulous!

Plus, there were some of the cutest kids...one little boy, after I instructed him to "just go into that store, mate, and demand your stamp. Say 'I'm a pirate and I'm here to get my stamp, arrr.' Go ahead, let me hear you say it."

He looks up at me earnestly, clutching his treasure map and says "I'm a pirate and I'm hear to get my stamp, please. Because you have to be polite. Arrr."

Omigod. My withered ovaries felt a tiny twinge of regret. How cute was that?

Anyway, the Captain might go home feeling a bit "dirty" since he has an actual talent that he gets paid for...but hey, handling people or food is what I get paid for and to be able to do it in character...for more per hour than any cooking gig I've ever done...pirate whoring is okay by me.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2007-07-16 01:25 pm (UTC)
"We're all whores anyway, Poot -- why not be the best?" -- Mac Davis to Nick Nolte, North Dallas Forty

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[User Picture]From: 3fingeredsalute
2007-07-17 12:32 am (UTC)
"I'm a pirate and I'm hear to get my stamp, please. Because you have to be polite. Arrr."

*deathbydiabeticcuteattack*
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2007-07-17 12:10 pm (UTC)
So you're not a Missy anymore, huh? Well, at least I'll still keep my good name..wait, we are talking about not getting paid..ggrrrr :-)

What, what, what? Your ovaries twinged? Be careful and don't drop any eggs around you know who....talk about treasure map..!!!
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