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Told you I was brain dead.... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Told you I was brain dead.... [Feb. 6th, 2014|04:05 pm]
terribleturnip
The whole point of starting that last post (theoretical theme: things I need to get out of my head before they kill me) but I couldn't remember the other thing, and in checking a message on facebook, I caught my unfiltered feed which was full of PSH sadness, news and smarmy "oh, look at you mourning an actor and drug addict instead of our nation's heroes" BS.) was this:

Chicken and Waffle flavored potato chips.

WTF, people?

Seriously, eat the THING. Do not eat the things flavored like the THING. EAT THE THING, for the love of all that's worth loving!

Potato chips should taste like potatoes. End of discussion. You want flavorings? Then by god, you make those potato chips fresh and put fresh, REAL flavors on them.

Leaky gut and unexplained allergies and every ailment in the world pinned to all sorts of things and none* of you seem to give a rat's patoot about that freaking powder that, for the record, is rarely the THING dried and ground up, but all sorts of other things, heavily processed and combined with even more things, that merely taste, theoretically like the THING.

If you want chicken and waffles....eat chicken and waffles. Order potato chips as a side and mix them on your plate. I don't care. Take a bowl of potato chips, pour some maple syrup in it and hold a chicken leg in the other hand, alternate bites.

If you can't make a THING taste like a THING plus THINGS by soaking the one THING inside the other, or crumbling the one THING on top of the OTHER, or cooking them together in some fashion, then that's a sign that the THING should taste like itself and not some unholy amalgam of other THINGS.

And keep your expletive bacon out of my vodka. Which is not necessarily unhealthy...it's just gross.

*Some of you may well not be the people I'm talking about here. But really, let's not expletive up my humor/rant with worrying about hurting your feelings.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2014-02-06 10:07 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2014-02-07 01:27 pm (UTC)
You are an awful, awful man.

In all the best ways.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2014-02-27 02:15 am (UTC)
I'm laughing so hard I can hardly read this out loud to dadgaderie... eeeeee... Whew.
(Reply) (Thread)