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Pleas to people who aren't going to listen to me, anyway: - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Pleas to people who aren't going to listen to me, anyway: [Sep. 18th, 2015|01:43 pm]
terribleturnip
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Dear people who freak out when a movie is remade,
So don't expletive watch it.

It's actually THAT simple. "It's going to be ruined!" Um, I'm pretty sure that the distribution contract for the new one doesn't actually specify that they have to destroy all copies of the old one. "It'll never be as good as the first one!" Well, you're often right. Although that's mostly because the first one wasn't actually as good as you remember, but it struck a particular chord for you, your friends, segment of society, AT THE TIME. Let the people who are watching it now just freaking enjoy it without you going all geezery "things were better in my day". "They're going to change it!" Please see previous comment. The world's moved on, perhaps you should as well. The damn thing is dated now. You can be nostalgic about it, but for crying out loud, remember that the teenagers (or whatever market segment it's aimed at) have had different experiences than you did at that age, so it's got to be updated in order to not seem hokey as hell. You want to go on a fan board and debate merits of new cast vs old, etc., then you go right ahead. But whine about it on Facebook and know that I'm clicking on the secret "Contempt" button that Zuckerberg keeps promising me but still hasn't delivered.

Dear Women's Clothing Catalogs,

Those of you whose premise is clearly clothing that is flattering/forgiving to the less than wasp-waisted -- I'm looking at you, Soft Surroundings -- maybe you should show the clothing on the people that I'm pretty sure it was designed to flatter. I'm looking at that top and thinking "oh, that'd hide the fat rolls" but maybe only if I were six feet tall with legs up to my armpits and thin from top to bottom. Even worse, if that dress/shirt/top/whatever makes your wafer thin model look fat...I've got to figure that I'm going to look like my own personal circus in it. Now there's a possibility that it will actually look flattering on my stumpy-legged more curves than a mountain switchback, broadshouldered body. So maybe show it on a body that it flatters. Maybe just have that option on your website. Instead of "click to see a back view" you could have "click to see it on some other body types". Just a thought.


Dear Pro-life Demonstrators/Spokespeople,

Why aren't you picketing fertility clinics? If this is all about the sanctity of a fertlized egg, then you should have your panties in a wad over the businesses that flush hundreds of "babies" down the drain on a daily basis. Either you're fundamentally okay with dead babies as long as they're killed in pursuit of an actual live one...which means you should be okay with fetal tissue research since that's using a dead baby to perhaps save already living babies' lives. Or, this really IS all about punishing women like me who want to have sex free of consequences but get tripped up from time to time due to the failure of birth control or human nature.

Dear People who put on their turn signal AFTER they've dramatically slowed down or stopped,

THIS IS NOT HELPFUL. Just skip the expletive turn signal if you're going to do that. Then I just think you're a self-absorbed expletive who was never taught to use turn signals. Stopping suddenly or slowing dramatically with no warning and THEN putting on your turn signal, when I'm already halfway up your trunk...now I KNOW you know what they're for and were just too much of a dipexpletive to use them. Don't rub my face in your failure, my friend. That's a special kind of rage you're firing up.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2015-09-19 01:19 pm (UTC)
nice rant, as always ... very well done ... the turn signal issue is the one that speaks to me loudest ... every single freaking day while commuting I feel your pain
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: im_geva
2015-09-21 05:19 pm (UTC)

Dipexpletive

Is the name of my new band.
(Reply) (Thread)