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Lovely Weekend on the Eastern Shore and a small dose of Reality - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Lovely Weekend on the Eastern Shore and a small dose of Reality [Aug. 14th, 2007|08:21 am]
terribleturnip
[Current Music |Dead Kennedys, Holiday in Cambodia]

So really, for an entire weekend of SO family visiting, including a WEDDING, this past weekend was pretty darn nice. It helps to start out with a crab feast on Friday night, with crabs pulled hours earlier from brother's crabpots. Drinking beer while cleaning them on the dock on the river. Tangier Island preparations, which means NO yellow goopy mustard. More crabs than the six of us could possibly eat.

Which was good bolstering for the wedding the next day. Thankfully, I was able to participate in preparations -- cleaning shrimp, picking up wedding cakes and flowers -- heaven knows, I'm like a border collie, I need a JOB. And then I was entrusted with putting Bambi parts on the grill rotisserie, which apparently seemed to be a great honor, since no one else in the family has ever been entrusted with it. It gave me a chance to wallow a bit in grill-envy. Although grill-envy had a hard time taking hold, what with the beautiful house-envy, fabulous property-envy, breathtaking riverview-envy, even hummingbird- and garden-envy already packed into my covetous black heart.

I'd been dreading the wedding a bit -- outdoor wedding in August heat with SO's extended family, combining the "having to be dressed up in 100 degree weather" with "having to pay attention and look respectful and supportive during a religious/civil ceremoney" with "making small talk with people I don't know without the benefit of curse words, bawdy innuendo or generous amounts of alcohol".

Thankfully, I had actually scored a very pretty (and too expensive, but what the hell, thank goodness for the birthday check from the 'rents), flattering and comfortable dress. (I'll rant later about the crap they're selling that masquerades as dresses right now, thereby revealing that I haven't shopped anywhere but Chico's and LL Bean for near 5 years -- but you can't go to a wedding in black or a polo shirt and khaki's)

And then the weather was unseasonably cold. I was actually starting to sweat whether I'd freeze to death in my silk sleeveless dress, but thankfully the sun came out, I kid you not, 20 minutes before the ceremony, so it got warm, but just enough.

And while there was the obligatory G-rated small talk with multiple grandmothers and aunties-twice-removed, the groom's mother (where the wedding was) was very understanding about my need to have a JOB and let me get the food out on the table, re-arrange things, heat things up, keep appetizers going, coolers packed, refrigerators re-organized, etc.

(You, as readers have now divided yourselves into people who know me as an acquaintance and are thinking "so, you went to a wedding, got drafted into working as a caterer? You poor thing, you just can't get away from work!" and those that know me well and are thinking "Wow, that must have been the best wedding ever for you!")

And the wedding part itself, performed by the Captain, was blissfully short and blessedly non-denominational, so I got to skip a lot of the blasphemous discussions that go on in my head, during such things. Which then make me feel guilty, because no matter how you intellectualize about it as an adult, some of that stuff just STICKS.

The next day, it was way too lovely sitting on the front porch, watching the wildlife, to rush off early, then a lunch at Mom & Dad's was followed by packing up the loads of garden bounty from their huge garden....by the time we got back and picked up the dogs it was too late to participate in any of the fun we'd been invited to on Sunday.

But I've got a fridge full of corn, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, crabs and venison, so while I missed you guys, I will soothe myself with good food and see most of you in just another 2 weeks.

On the way back, though, I did spot a sign that got me thinking. It was for a hair salon called "Reality Salon".

Really. So...what's their motto? "When you walk out of here, your hair will look like crap, just like it looks the day AFTER you leave our competitor's salon. No more looking great for 24 hours until you wash and style it yourself, cursing because you can't achieve the same look at home. Nope, when you walk out of here, you'll be walking out with the hairstyle you're going to have to live with for the next four weeks. And no extra charge for the special Humidifier treatment, where we subject your new hairstyle to intense humidity right before you leave, so that you can start right off with that "frizzy mess". For senior citizens, we've got the certified "I forgot my little plastic rain bonnet" treatment. We'll just drench your head before you leave, so there's no disappointment later on.

Oh, sure, you're probably thinking, "Oh, Mere, don't be so harsh, that could actually be very hip, very natural..." Dude, in a crumbling, dingy, tired strip mall along Route 13 in Salisbury?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-08-14 01:40 pm (UTC)
"Reality Salon" for me would feature skull waxing.
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-08-14 01:59 pm (UTC)
And at the "Surreality Salon" they would melt a clock on your head.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2007-08-14 02:03 pm (UTC)
Isn't that a flying loaf of bread going out the door?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)