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terribleturnip

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Ah, memories... [Aug. 16th, 2007|08:52 am]
terribleturnip
[Current Music |Runicera, El Septeto...because Finnish Salsa is cool]

The recent posting of ANCIENT pictures has me glad of ONE thing. Few of you knew me in '84, '88, back when there were giant sloths, and those that did weren't picture-takers. Whew!

But speaking of flashbacks -- am meeting a friend tonight for happy hour at a restaurant that was once, about a decade ago, a Mexican restaurant. Where I decided, after having a really hard week, I decided I deserved a sit-down relaxed lunch before I headed back to the salt mines. So I went in, pulled out a book and had me my lunch.

I was darn near finished with my iced tea, and nose down in my book, when I finally looked up at my glass. And saw the drowned cockroach plastered against the inside of the glass. And he weren't no little one, neither. He was big enough to see the expression on his little drowned face.

I sat there stunned for a moment, my gut beginning to roil a bit -- frankly, I've eaten bugs on purpose, but I also know restaurants and roaches and well, THEY don't wash their hands, either. Just at that moment the waiter comes up and brightly asks if he can get anything else for me.

Now the restaurant is packed. And since I have worked in foodservice, I know that cockroaches are a fact of life and that s**t like this happens; it really does NOT mean that the place is a unsanitary necessarily. So, overcome with WASPness (we abhor a scene), I whisper "Um, actually, there's a roach in my glass" and point to the offending critter.

"There's a what?" the waiter says loudly.

I motion him in closer and point, still whispering, "A roach. In my glass."

"OMIGOD! There's a roach in your glass. That's DISGUSTING!" he hollers, at the top of his lungs. And the whole dining room is now aghast...and staring at me, who has now become "the woman who drank roach juice". So much for not making a scene.

He runs off with it back into the kitchen and returns a few minutes later "The manager says, the whole meal is on us and let me get you another beverage. Would you like another iced tea?"

"Um, do you have something in a bottle?"

So...here's the question...different restaurant, but will I be able to order something unbottled?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-08-16 01:27 pm (UTC)
Drowning a roach takes work.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2007-08-16 01:43 pm (UTC)
Maybe he had the food first?

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[User Picture]From: skivee
2007-08-16 06:38 pm (UTC)

Cultural Prejudices

I'm sure tha you, as a food expert are aware of the fact that there are many cultures around the world who don't share our aversion to consuming insects. Termite larva are popular in Africa, Mexicans eat crickets and a local variant of the stink bug, and giant water bugs are used in South East Asia. If one strips away our cultural bias, one could realize that we have been avoid what would be a nutritious and plentiful supply of protein.
A small tome by an English writer of the late 19th century made exactly that point. He wrote," Well, them critters is eatin' our food, so why shouldn't we get ours back by eatin' them in return???" (It may be that the midlands accent is not easily understandable in this representation.)
A whole culture of bug preparation could spring up," ...and our chef is pleased to recommend the termite pate, Buffalo style water bugs, and imported stag beetle grub Romano with a hint of garlic".
As members of the order Arthropoda, insects are not substantially different from crabs, shrimp, or lobster. You may be aware that these sea creatures are very popular items at dinner tables.
That being said, OH MY GOD GOD, A DEAD F***ing COCKROACH THAT HAD BEEN FLOATING IN YOUR DRINK WHILE YOU SUCKED BACK THE EXUDATES OF IT'S DEATH STRUGGLES !!!???!!! YOU CAN CUT OFF A COCKROACHES HEAD, THEN DROWN HIM, AND HE'LL STILL TAKE HOURS TO DIE!!!!! O, M, F***ING G !!!! I WOULD HAVE F***ING VOMITED RIGHT THERE!!!
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-08-16 08:13 pm (UTC)

Re: Cultural Prejudices

Thank you for this dispassionate, scholarly note.

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2007-08-17 01:09 pm (UTC)

Re: Cultural Prejudices

Look, on purpose, I've eaten termite pilaf, mealworm cookies, deep fried crickets, chocolate covered grasshoppers, mezcal-soaked agave worms and even choked down one of those canned larvae-things you can find in the Asian markets. And the grain moths and their larvae in pasta...when their little husks float up in the pasta water -- I'd never serve it to guests, but yeah, it's just protein...

By mistake I've eaten...bees, japanese beetles, unidentifiable white swarming wormy things infested the raspberries and more flies than I really want to think about.

And even bug infusions don't really bother me -- friends still remember a batch of homebrewed IPA I made as the best ever, and I'm still pondering whether it was the drowned wasp I found in the bottom of the carboy that made it special or if it was a fluke.

I've eaten at Arthur Bryant's in Kansas City, where you eat the world's best barbeque, slapping cockroaches off the wall and table as you eat...

But I know where cockroaches hang out in a commercial kitchen and they never wash their feet, those dirty little bugs...and if only 20% of men wash their hands after using the bathroom...what if that was a BOY cockroach? Blech.

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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2007-08-17 01:12 pm (UTC)

Re: Cultural Prejudices

And it was LOOKING at me....
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2007-08-17 03:53 pm (UTC)

Re: Cultural Prejudices

"what if that was a BOY cockroach? Blech."
Right you are! and since roaches would have no problem in going from toilet to dinner table... AND, since boy roaches are more adventurous...AND the only way they wash up is by cleaning off with their mouthparts, AND it was those very mouthparts of the roach you saw smiling back to you in eternal bliss...well, I don't think I have to draw a verbal picture...oh, too late.

"friends still remember a batch of homebrewed IPA I made as the best ever, and I'm still pondering whether it was the drowned wasp I found in the bottom of the carboy that made it special or if it was a fluke. "
When I come over tonight remind me to sing "Dead Dog Scrumpy" for you.
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[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2007-09-19 09:04 pm (UTC)
oh. MY god. i'd have totally barfed. really, i would have. and screamed, too. i don't do bugs. especially not drinking filtered water through their dead bodies, which has happened to me on occasion (by accident of course) and i didn't realize it until i was nearly finished.

EW ew EW ew EWW!

p.s. totally adding you. you so funni!
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