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I’m up to my ass in dead fairies here… - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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I’m up to my ass in dead fairies here… [Dec. 6th, 2007|11:51 am]
terribleturnip
What, you didn’t know?

It’s true! Look at the organizations that are KNOWN for their acronym generation: government, army, insurance agencies, IT firms…so you see a lot of fey and mischief going on in those places? (Well, mischief in a FUN way, not in a chicanery kind of way…) I would even make the case that an organization’s sense of humor, or lack thereof, can be correlated to its fairy-killing propensity.

And no matter what you think about Ikea…you have to give them credit for helping to stem the tide of fairy extinction. Because giving products actual, simple names…like Sven or Sturmo, instead of #KV-347h, or Precocious Mission Bench Aubergine 3b, you generate a fairy.

When I worked at FMI, oddly enough, it was our IT team that led the fairy conservation. Although the rest of the organization was killing fairies daily with EFR and ECM and CRR, the IT team named our servers Fred and Wilma.

Oh, we were great fairy-killers at FMI! Not that I’ll take full credit for our initiatives suddenly having names like Whole Health and MealSolutions, instead of EFR or ECR. But I do know that after a few meetings…when someone would coin a new acronym and I would make the (sound of a plane spiraling downward), following the imaginary death spiral of the fairy with my eyes, then mutter “Boom….Poof” as the fairy hit the ground and exploded into fairy dust. (I know, you thought fairy dust was fun. It’s dead fairies, you moron and the next idiot that sprinkles me with glitter and calls it fairy dust is getting a visit from the Cremation Ogre.)

At first everyone thought the dying/dead fairy bit was funny. Then they started to look uncomfortable….even a little guilty…but you know, the acronym generation definitely died down.

But now, now…THIS company is like working for the Khmer Rouge of Fairyland. Not only is there an acronym for EVERYTHING…but they’re not even logical and are loaded with words that would guarantee an easy win at Bullshit Bingo.

I went through ABOO. ACompany Business Organization Orientation. WTF? Is this an orientation that every new employee goes through? Is it an orientation that we only do here at Acompany? Are there several kinds of orientation, that we would need to differentiate between them? No. Just the one. So why not just call it….Orientation.

Oooh, I have my work cut out for me here….
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2007-12-06 05:05 pm (UTC)
Are there several kinds of orientation, that we would need to differentiate between them? No. Just the one. So why not just call it….Orientation.

Apparently the Corporate Branding Demon has already said he's gonna kick your ass.
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2007-12-06 05:10 pm (UTC)
aahh...feel warm fuzzies in the fact you don't work the government. I actually have a document, serialized and updated, that is nothing but a breakdown of ALL the acronyms that are created. It is over 50 pages long...oh, and my favorite is the acronym that fits over 10 different words so therefore, unless you know the context of what is being described, there is the possibility of it pertaining to 5 different or so things..:-)

p.s. please note my f* you fairy icon :-) )
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-12-06 05:28 pm (UTC)
Here at Social Security we have acronyms that, while appearing seasonal, are anything but.

I offer for your delectation "MAGI", which has nothing to do with 3 Kings of the Orient, but rather Marginal Adjusted Gross Income.

Edited at 2007-12-06 05:28 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2007-12-06 06:46 pm (UTC)
I'm an accounting type person - we live for acronyms.

I wonder what dies whenever you use a government form number?
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2007-12-06 07:00 pm (UTC)

"Letters, We get letters!"

Back in the dim dark days when I did actual work in photo darkrooms, I used to use enlargers from an Italian company, Durst.
Every small part have an incomprehensible acronym associated with it; PLAUBEL, DENOSIPLAU, FENTAUB and many others.
It wasn't Italian, it wasn't English...what the hell were they trying to say????
No one knows
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From: kudrasslipper
2007-12-06 07:22 pm (UTC)
My favorite from the wold of public health preparedness? AHRF.

The all hazards receipt facility, of course.
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From: kudrasslipper
2007-12-06 07:24 pm (UTC)
Tho - I must add - what I REALLY HATE are the organizations that KEEP the acronym - but it no longer actually stands for what it used to. They're holding on to the "brand." EFF that shit, man. If you're going to name yourself something new, by god... USE REAL WORDS.
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[User Picture]From: macdobhran
2007-12-06 07:45 pm (UTC)
Dear TT,

Most Americans today do not realize that we are at war and have been for some time. The EFF (Evil Fucking Fairies) have been working behind the scenes and undermining the very fabic of this great nation for years. We at the NAFEO (National Association of Fairy Eating Ogres) want to take this opportunity to thank you for your support.

Working in close association with the IFA (International Fairy Association) and the FBI (No, not that one. The Fairy Benevolent Institute) we have developed an extremely powerful weapon in the WEF (War on Evil Fairies). The exact nature of the BFFW (Big Fucking Fairy Weapon) is extremely TS (Top Secret) however we can tell you that plans are in place to once and for all squash the EFF menace.

Please be patient and vigilant at all times. Help is on the way.

TTFN,
BJ Smith
NAFEO, President

Edited at 2007-12-06 07:46 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2007-12-06 08:14 pm (UTC)
I guess we're OBE (Overtaken By Events), which is the new military acronym/euphemism for when things are FUBAR (You Know What The Fuck This Means).

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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2007-12-06 08:16 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!! Can I marry you?
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