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The cure for food craving... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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The cure for food craving... [Jan. 7th, 2008|02:16 pm]
terribleturnip
Is to just remember to bring in your snacks. I don't even want them. But I know that apple and that Kashi bar are waiting for me, just in case.



It might have something to do with eating vast quantities of several different 7 layer dips yesterday. Vast. I mean, I HAD to. You put four varieties of the same food item on a table and I am DUTY-BOUND to taste test. And then, of course, because I was distracted by the general conversation and partyamiability, I kept losing track of which one I'd tasted and what my judgement was.

Plus I was drinking beer. Which usually interferes with taste-testing anything. Unless it's BEER.

Okay, okay. And really, can you reach a serious judgement about anything that's got refried beans, sour cream AND cheese? They totally shut off the culinary good-judgement centers in your brain. Think I'm making that up? Okay, smartpants, explain the continuing success of Taco Bell. Hey, I was stoned when I imprinted on Pintos 'n Cheese, what's YOUR excuse?

And really, secretly, I'm always appalled that 7 layer dip is not REQUIRED to be heated. It would be really, really awesome hot. Cold, it's just...compelling. I talk myself into being repulsed by shredded, unmelted cheese...and then someone breaks into it and I can see the sour cream and beans underneath. And even though my head and even palate are screaming, for the love of god, Montresor, heat it up until it's not so....congealed....and shredded...I reach for a chip anyway. And the Hostess Snowball-Moonpie-Cheezit-Charleston Chew portion of my reptile brain takes command and I am eating and in PIG heaven.

Those of you who made those seven layer dips, I do thank you for appeasing my piglizardbrain, and soothing my soul, if not my arteries. And no, I can NOT tell which one I thought was best. Sorry. Try not to be such scintillating conversationalists next time and maybe I'll pay better attention. Although it will take me a while to stop holding a grudge about the several pounds I put on while consuming said dip, so let's not rush it.

While I'm ordering people around: when you see me, standing outside in the cold, in newish boots, teetering cutely on a rock, playing with my balance, let me play for a couple of minutes, it's good exercise. But really, after 20 minutes, someone stop me. Muscles I didn't even know I OWNED hurt today.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: macdobhran
2008-01-07 07:39 pm (UTC)
I'll just be sitting over here breathing through my ears...
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-01-07 08:42 pm (UTC)
Speaking of running trials and doing comparisons and judging....
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[User Picture]From: im_geva
2008-01-07 08:47 pm (UTC)
There is rarely any sitting when breathing through your ears... lots of wiggling, writhing, and occasional shudders. Sigh.
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[User Picture]From: macdobhran
2008-01-08 12:14 am (UTC)
Sounds like... fun.
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2008-01-07 07:42 pm (UTC)
after reading this I'm jonesing for a seven layer burrito from Taco Hell....arrghghghghghg
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-01-07 08:17 pm (UTC)
Oh shit hon now I'm not only craving THAT but some really cheap beer as well...

...and chips....and salsa...and fritoh bean dip

Halp - my inner redneck is escaping -----------
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[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2008-01-07 08:12 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmmm.... 7 layer dip.... I think I gained several pounds from it last night and just thinking about it is packing on a few more. lol
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-01-07 08:16 pm (UTC)
I am so very fortunate to have adverse reactions to sour cream.

...this is because I have ZERO willpower when it comes to really bad texmex food.

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[User Picture]From: lady_foxchase
2008-01-07 08:30 pm (UTC)

I (heart) 7 layer dips

not sure whether to say thanks and admit to some of them, or to run the other way for providing them for consumption *g*
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[User Picture]From: im_geva
2008-01-07 08:43 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I'm up five pounds. In ONE AFTERNOON. Crap. oh well, so worth it. Salty food, salty margaritas, it's a beautiful thing...
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2008-01-08 12:38 am (UTC)
You guys are mean! Here I am in Seattle, unable to taste-test all that delicious, bad for me food, then you add in Margaritas! Dang it all. 7-layer dip heated... Wow. Yep, I just gained five pounds, too.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-01-08 06:24 pm (UTC)
Note to self: next time they're on the East Coast, schedule the "Contest of the Seven Layers" and lay in extra Tequila....
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2008-01-08 06:38 pm (UTC)
I KNEW you'd take your revenge for all my yapping about diet! There's only one thing (well... maybe more) that I can't resist even more than Fritos, and that's CORN CHIPS with 7-layer dip!!! Dang you to heck! The Tequila is okay, though, especially when you drink enough of it and get to that fun hallucinatory state. Could we please heat the dips, though? And in the mean-time, I'll experiment with dips and see what we can come up with for our contribution. Mmmm...
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