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Oh, the joys of uncoordination! - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Oh, the joys of uncoordination! [Feb. 22nd, 2008|10:48 am]
terribleturnip
So, the cold is in full force now. I can't even be clever about it. THAT'S how yucky I feel.

But I thought I'd give the old sinus irrigation another try. Several years ago, I tried the whole Neti pot thing, under the supervison of someone who uses it daily.

Well, THAT was traumatic. Got a little salt water down my throat. I won't go into detail, but it involved dry heaves and my whole body conspiring against a repeat performance, now I can't even look at a neti pot without getting the shudders. (So, please, save yourself the advice. It ain't gonna happen. It takes like a half an hour, a clown and a stick to get my second eye done when they do the glaucoma test -- I have AMAZING self-preservation reflexes.)

But I AM used to nasal sprays and pulling triggers, so I thought that if I could stay upright and quickly hit a button, I could force myself to deal with a shot of the saline solution and maybe get used to it again, since I know I'll feel better if I do. So I get one of those pre-mixed...essentially, it's a nose gun. Tucked it, well, never mind where, but you want to have it at body temperature. Get myself over the sink, get ready. First nostril, no problem. (I'm not saying I LIKED it, but...I was able to surprise myself) Second nostril, I can feel my reptile brain getting ready to run for the hills...so I really press down on the trigger to give myself a good toot.

For your own reference, take your finger OFF the trigger BEFORE you pull it out of your nose. Not that an eyeful of saline solution is a horrible thing, but it plays hell with your mascara. And is embarrassing to explain to your neighbors who choose that moment to walk into your house. Not that THAT kept me from sharing the whole story....
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: queenmaggie
2008-02-22 04:58 pm (UTC)
You sure you're not writing comedy routines, say for Dave Barry? Thanks for the laugh!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2008-02-22 06:13 pm (UTC)
Let's be honest here. I don't think you CAN surprise your neighbors anymore..(just sayin) :-) hehehehehe
(Reply) (Thread)