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terribleturnip

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Two ideas that could've been better [Mar. 3rd, 2008|08:53 am]
terribleturnip
First, I pass a car with a bumper sticker that says "Consider Civility".

Now, I totally believe that the world would be a better place if people would leave their inner brat at home and just be freaking CIVIL. So, part of me wants to go YES!

But...it just sounds so freaking smug. "Consider"...how William F. Buckley of you...

I would go with "Be Civil, you selfish f**k!"

In the library, out of the corner of my eye, I see a book entitled "How to Be Sexy" and I think, hey....until I see that it's written by:

Carmen Electra.

So, once you get beyond "change your name", "have plastic surgery" and "engage a team of stylists and make-up artists" and "get an agent and publicist"...oh, and "get free designer clothes"...what else do you suppose she has to contribute?

Gah, I was curious to see, but my self-esteem wouldn't let me be seen looking at it. How pathetic would it feel to be caught looking to Carmen Electra for tips?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-03 02:19 pm (UTC)
I would fully expect Carmen Electra's ghostwriter (let's be realistic here) to spend 175 pages claiming that sexy comes from within. Which would mean Carmen has the capacity to be very sexy indeed because, let's face it, there's not much of anything else taking up room in there.
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[User Picture]From: majorchaos
2008-03-03 03:35 pm (UTC)
I see them damned bummer stickers all over the place. there's something else written under them, but it's in a font I can't see when I'm driving and not trying to put my front bumper in their back bumper or side of their car while reading the stickers. Usually, when I see one of those stickers, I just say F**K it!
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-03-03 04:05 pm (UTC)
The finer print is something about Howard County, but they were so uncivil as to make it hard to read that I generally ignore it.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-03 04:06 pm (UTC)

Be Civil, you selfish f**k!

Remember those bumper stickers that used to be everywhere: "Visualize World Peace"? I once saw one that said "&%@# World Peace, Visualize Using Your Turn Signal"
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-03-03 04:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Be Civil, you selfish f**k!

I tried to visualize a turn signal in use, but all I got was Carmen Electra.
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[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2008-03-03 05:37 pm (UTC)
In Carmen Electra's place, I would substitute the following:

"engage a team of stylists and makeup artists" -- engage a team of stylists and makeup artists who apply makeup with a trowel and dress you like a whore
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-03 05:37 pm (UTC)
Consider putting down your cell phone and F**King DRIVING
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From: pyrateatlarge
2008-03-04 02:37 am (UTC)
You don't need any pointers in sexy, m'luv. (smooch)
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