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Wow. I mean...wow. Slug Porn - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Wow. I mean...wow. Slug Porn [Mar. 7th, 2008|11:50 am]
terribleturnip
So, I've been feeling undereducated and geek-deficient, and realized the other day, that while I've been learning way more than I had ever thought possible about the food & beverage disposables category (oh, the joys of PET, PLA, polyprop, polystyrene, latex, nitrile and vinyl, oh my!) I haven't learned anything FUN.

So, it was documentary-time! And I bumped up Life in the Undergrowth to the top of the Netflix list, having finished The Sopranos. (sorry, but I totally approve of how it ended. Of course, I have the advantage of knowing it was going to happen. I probably would've had a temper tantrum, but I probably would've gotten over it and clapped.)

Wow. I mean...wow. They had me at the scene of the snail's eyes -- tooling along, extending the eyestalk and watching the eye roll UP the inside....oh golly, stroking my need for geek, my need for gross, AND my need for critter.

The technology advances in microcameras...springtail courtship, my friend. (A springtail is smaller than the head of a pin.

Fabulous accompaniment in terms of soundtrack.

And....leopard slug sex.

No -- you have NO idea. None. You can't. Go ahead, imagine all you want -- it's way more cool, bizarre and mindblowing than your giant cortex is capable of imagining.

The beginning -- with them twining and...I had some qualms. I mean, after all, the Captain and I are sitting there, almost quietly uncomfortable. Until I admit, that, despite the whole SLUG thing (I detest slugs) I was finding it strangely arousing. The captain agreed. But then, then, when they descended the mucus rope (Oh, sure it sounds gross -- but oddly, not. I mean they're slugs -- what do they have to work with?) And then the sex organs came out the sides of their heads....

No, you still don't know where it's going. Because right now it sounds gross and if I talk about glowing blue prehensile slug penises, it's going to sound worse, but trust me -- beautiful and awesome, in the old-fashioned sense of the word.

Rent it. Really. The show itself is amazing, if you have any shred of bug/nature geek in ya.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-03-07 05:13 pm (UTC)
glowing blue prehensile slug penises

And Ron Jeremy thinks HE bring something special to the table...
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 05:36 pm (UTC)

You win.

I got nuttin.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-07 06:43 pm (UTC)
Q: What's the difference between a slug and a teenager?

A: A slug's sex organs are in its head. A teenager's head is in his sex organs.

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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-07 07:23 pm (UTC)

Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

You know, when I was stationed in Nam back in '78, I was propostioned by a 15 year old whore who offered me the blue penis mucus rope thing along with real American beer for just 15 piasters. When we got back to her hut the whole family was there along with her 80 year old toothless grandmother. Soon she was pumping me for information about when our mision was moving out in the morning. She was a VC spy, of course. I let her work on my happy stick for a while. She had a mouth that could suck the slime off a leopard slug; then I shot her between the eyes, and when I say "shot her between the eyes", I mean...
Sorry, I drifted off a bit. But let me just tell you that it was the best night of my life. I even got a purple heart medal out of it. Some day I may tell you how I got this scar.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 07:38 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

Dude -- that bullet's rubbing up against your brain. Just push it the rest of the way in with a Q-tip.
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-07 07:42 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

I only do that when God needs to talk to me and reveal more of his plan.
The headaches are getting real bad, man.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-07 07:50 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

If Jim Webb finds out you've been plagarizing his novels again there will be hell to pay.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 09:17 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

He should go for Lynne Cheney's instead. The arena of lesbian sex in mainstream publishing is woefully underserved.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-07 09:26 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

And when mainstream lesbian sex was looking for a spokesperson, Skivee was at the top of their A-list. Yeah.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 09:34 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

"More womanly than any manly woman, more manly than any womanly man. Puts the bodice in bodice-ripper. Puts the pants in pants-ripping. Tongue of Simmons, hung like Campbell's (the soup), a lesbian's thesbian -- it's skivee!"


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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-07 10:08 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

It's good to see that I'm appreciated for who I am...oh wait. Were those comments sarcasm???
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 10:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

Sorry -- let me correct that:

hung like Campbell's (the soup) Faber (the pencil)...
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-07 10:25 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigan- A true story. I wouldn't make this shit up!

Hey, watch what youi're doing with that eraser, buddy.
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2008-03-07 08:31 pm (UTC)
"oh golly, stroking my need for geek, my need for gross, AND my need for critter."

Personally, I have no need for gross but the geek and the critter genes are in full bloom. Yay, sex! Yay, slug sex! I once watched a pair of snails "doing it" for nearly an hour when I was a little kid. It was just amazing, a slow motion ballet with spears.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-03-07 09:03 pm (UTC)
I fear this is drifting dangerously close to slugsploitation.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-03-07 09:18 pm (UTC)
FIGHT THE POWER!
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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-07 10:26 pm (UTC)
" By the Power of GREYSLUG...!!!"
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-03-08 04:54 pm (UTC)

Sex In Saigon.....................................from the Rocketeer!

Don't none of you believe that sack of horsecrap that ly'n bastard Skivee is sellin'. I was there in '78 my self leading a NASA-OSTA blackops strike team. We wuz cleanin' up the mess them politicians and the liberal media left. Well I'm here to tell ya I didn't see no Heeero Skivee. And I know I woulda recognized him, fer damn sure. "Nuf Said!










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[User Picture]From: skivee
2008-03-08 05:07 pm (UTC)

Re: Sex In Saigon.....................................from the Rocketeer!

Don't mean that you were cleaning up the mess them politicians and the liberal media left left.
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