|Why my mind shouldn't wander without a leash on...
||[Nov. 6th, 2006|01:16 pm]
So watching an old Family Guy episode and they do the spoof on the Diamonds ad where you just see the silhouette of the man and the woman as he gives her some diamond ring or another...|
And in this spoof, the Tagline is "Diamonds...because she'll pretty much have to" as you see the man's sil giving her a ring and then the woman's sil goes down on her knees in front of him.
And I'm thinking...,lj-cut text="Diamonds, because...">
...maybe then she won't smother you while you sleep tonight.
...maybe she won't tell the partners at your firm that you're gay.
...then she won't send the hot au pair back to Sweden.
...her old man is loaded and your parents are only going to leave you with a double-wide and an overdue account at Wal-Mart.
...one night you may have too much to drink, drive your car off a bridge and need to pry it off her dead hand to cut open the car window glass so you can swim to freedom.
...alimony is so much more expensive.
...because she'll never suspect you know about her affair with the tennis instructor which is keeping her too busy to notice your affair with the club aerobics instructor.
...because it's the only thing that might render her speechless for five blessed minutes of silence.
...because she'll have to go out to lunch to show it off to her bitchy girlfriends and that'll give you time to change the locks and dump her stuff on the front lawn.