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terribleturnip

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Urp. [May. 30th, 2008|03:56 pm]
terribleturnip
I just ate an entire box of Charleston Chew Minis. The whole box.

This my friends, is why I normally will not buy candy nor keep it in the house. See, I got all wobbly and shaky in the grocery store -- had a conference call that went late and I had to skip lunch -- and knew that the quickest fix would be candy. And for some reason, I saw that box and thought,

So, I had a couple of pieces and a vitamin water and I was right as rain. I should have thrown the rest of the box out at that point. Instead I propped it up on my desk and mindlessly chowed my way through it. 630 calories of adulterated crap. The sad thing is, halfway through I started to feel sick to my stomach. But my mouth didn't care. My mouth is bossy. Big-time bossy. My mouth makes the rest of me seem like a milquetoast. Which is really bossy, 'cause my girlies ain't exactly slackers when it comes to the demanding, either.

Blech. So much for losing 8 pounds over the last couple of weeks.

But it was a heck of a day -- 125 e-mails regarding toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper. See, it's gotten narrower and all over the country, hotels are filled with narrower toilet paper rolls that are falling off their dispensers and rolling across the floor.

And somehow it seems to be my fault. Well, not really, but I am the easy target for outrage. That made me eat half the box of Charleston Chews. And then, this morning, it was patently clear that there was no way in hell I was going to get my disposable wiper contract (oh, yes, my day begins in the toilet and ends on the counter) finished by its due date of today. And I had an afternoon meeting where I was going to have to explain that. Anticipating that meeting made me eat the rest of the box, no doubt. Of course, the meeting was easy....I guess I'm making good enough progress on the other stuff, that I get a slip on this one -- or maybe I'm so close that a couple of days doesn't matter. Or, it could be that my obvious contrition and self-disappointment made my boss feel sorry for me. That's happened before.

Whatever, I didn't get beaten up for that.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-06-01 01:52 am (UTC)
toilet paper....it's gotten narrower

What? Across the entire US, toilet paper has just suddenly become narrower? Is it a disease? A nutritional deficiency? Did the toilet paper take up smoking and stunt its growth?

Speaking as a former Bureaucrat™ .... it is a matter of honest astonishment to me that the width of toilet paper rolls is not mandated by federal regulation. Seriously.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-06-02 12:21 pm (UTC)
Last year, toilet paper went from about 4.5" or 4.25" to 4.01" for consumers. They did it to you (at-home me) before they did it to us (the away-from home crowd and 8-5 me)

See, that way they can fit one more layer on a pallet and pack the trucks tighter, which saves on fuel and delivery costs.

Oh, good for them. We, of course, just pay the same amount for less toilet paper. Although, I do have research here in front of me that says that in most cases, consumers use the same number of sheets per "event" (and yes, my friends, "event" is what your BM is called in the bath tissue industry) whether it's 4.5" or 4.0". Certainly, there is a point at which the width WILL make a difference...and if can come up with such an elegant equation for harp mass, I'm sure with some research at hand, you could do that same for toilet tissue. But don't worry about it; I'm sure some consultant somewhere is getting paid a lot of money to figure out where that is.
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[User Picture]From: faithellen
2008-06-02 12:54 pm (UTC)
I'm glad it's just an "event." If it were a carnival, there would be rides.
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