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terribleturnip

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The 3 Things [Jun. 26th, 2008|12:38 pm]
terribleturnip
I usually resist memes, but this one got me. It's been narrowing the list that's been slowing me down. Oh, so many things...

1. Raised chickens in my bedroom. Oh, sure the little peeping when they go to sleep is the best noise to fall asleep to, EVER. But the scattering of sh*t and feathers all over the bedroom, especially when they start to FLY...

2. Poured a quart of Johnny Walker Black down a goat's throat. (Alcohol stops the fermenting that goes on in their stomach when they overeat grain and get colic. Which can kill them. Whether it's worth Johnny Walker, or not...) The pouring was rough. The burp afterwards was eyebrow searing. But she lived. The goat. I did too.

3. Been trapped between hay bales in a hot barn for an hour. Yup, August, up in the hay loft. You stack them so there's some airspace in between so you don't get spontaneous combustion. At least we did. I went up there to make some repairs on the electric fence box, was climbing the stacks and lost my balance, fell backwards ass first and into one of the spaces. So deep that my arms and legs were pointed damn near straight up. Let me tell you, those puppies do NOT budge. Especially if you're recently recovered from a hernia operation. Thankfully, someone came looking for me and heard my pitiful "oh, for fuck's sake" as I tried for the umpteenth time to get the hell out.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-06-26 05:16 pm (UTC)
:) I've had ducks in the bathroom - does that count?

I was always been afraid of slipping down between the bales of alfalfa in the barn. It's not hard to do and no it's not easy to get out either. Poor you.
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-06-26 05:23 pm (UTC)
2. Poured a quart of Johnny Walker Black down a goat's throat

I am not sure I can EVER get over the loss. I might take this personally.
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-06-26 05:25 pm (UTC)
I went up there to make some repairs on the electric fence box, was climbing the stacks and lost my balance, fell backwards ass first and into one of the spaces. So deep that my arms and legs were pointed damn near straight up.

That's hot.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-06-26 06:17 pm (UTC)
Johnnie Walker? You were enough of a hick to raise chickens in your bedroom, get stuck between hay bales, and own a goat, and you didn't have a gallon jug of Everclear sitting on the kitchen floor? Sheesh.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-06-26 09:01 pm (UTC)
We were Connecticut hicks...standards, my girl, standards! My Dad was a little cheesed that there wasn't enough Johnny Walker Red to do the job. Oddly enough, the vet recommended Whiskey over the clear liquids...otherwise that goat would've been drinking Smirnoff. But, one goat was dead already, so time was of the essence....
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-06-27 01:07 am (UTC)
Dead goat.....Johnny Walker.....Smirnoff....pissed off dad....I can't believe the Captain hasn't written a song about this.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-06-26 08:59 pm (UTC)
It WAS hot. August, up in the loft, surrounded by stacks of...oh. You meant the OTHER hot. That's a touch too confined for me...I like to be able to at least writhe....
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-06-26 09:00 pm (UTC)
I'm namin' the band Hay Bondage.
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2008-06-27 02:02 pm (UTC)
I'd buy it for the album art.
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