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Really, it's MY character flaw... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Really, it's MY character flaw... [Sep. 3rd, 2008|01:08 pm]
terribleturnip
To all of the people who are now tiptoeing around, afraid to come and say hello to me, or tell me some amusing story, or otherwise invade my personal space:

Dudes. Chill.

For starters, it's a character flaw. MY character flaw. YOU'RE fine. I'm not ranting in hopes that you'll leave me alone. Please don't avoid me like I'm two steps away from biting off heads. (Besides, if you know me, you'll know that I actually always give advance notice on the head-biting. And there's always a deal to be cut, as in: I need a cider or I swear, I'm going to bite off someone's head. And I'm not talking about chickens.

I'm apologizing after the fact, or in advance, that sometimes, through no fault of your own, due only to timing, my social tank has run dry. If only I had paced myself, taken that refresher break, filled my mug with Emergen-C or rum (not that I would ever drink on duty...) instead of ADD-inducing Diet Mountain Dew, if I had emptied my bladder on a timely basis....I would not be on the verge of bolting for the woods. Or privy.



Actually, if I've blown you off -- gotta get beverage, gotta pee (the very framework of my activities, right there, huh?) gotta go walkies, gotta get the camp ready -- that means I trust you enough to be honest about my needs at that moment and act like a Yankee (social to a point, but if there's a pressing need, well, then...see ya!)

Standing there, rictus grin of sociability, frozen like a feral cat in a trap, politely listening, a slight thorazine shuffle...that means I don't know you very well and I'm going to pretend that I have a shred of Southern hospitality.

Besides, I love it, just get worn out sometimes. Don't try to protect me, I'm trying to build up a tolerance. It's how I learned to eat cilantro. And other things. (Sestree, you know what I'm saying...) Practice, practice, practice.

Despite hating people as a group, I'm helplessly in love with most of them as individuals. Not that I'm unaware of their flaws...heinous political views, poor personal choices, bad taste in headwear...but somehow I can ignore everything except purposeful meanness. And self-importance. And even that gets a bye a lot of times. Which I suppose is why I rarely have a party for ALL of my friends, since at any point in time half of them detest the other half. Which I think is dumb of you, but I love you anyway....

I even like people who don't like me. Although that COULD just be to annoy them. Jury's out. Or maybe it's my Yankee/Danish pigheadedness -- I will wear you down with "like" until you have to return it or risk feeling like an a-hole for continuing to detest someone who doesn't hold it against you.

So, here I am, sad that someone was there the whole weekend and I didn't see them. Or didn't spend any time with them or....while still pissing and moaning about not being able to stand one more social transaction.

Contrary....it's as close as I get to religion.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-09-03 05:39 pm (UTC)
...bad taste in headwear

Really, I've fixed that.

But anyway—no, folks. Leave her alone. Stay the hell away.

(That leaves her more time for us.)

Edited at 2008-09-03 05:39 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2008-09-03 05:52 pm (UTC)
Wow. I actually didn't have you in mind...not that I usually pass up an opportunity to abuse you. But I was trying to think of something so ridiculous that no one would ever possibly think I was talking about THEM.

FAIL.
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[User Picture]From: dashrippington
2008-09-03 05:55 pm (UTC)
then it HAD to be my headware! (Bright red Chinese hat) I too think it's embarassing yet funny. (And it works)
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[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2008-09-03 05:56 pm (UTC)
Your "sarcasm" meter might also be on the blink. You might want to check that.
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[User Picture]From: lowlandscot
2008-09-03 05:47 pm (UTC)
I will wear you down with "like" until you have to return it or risk feeling like an a-hole for continuing to detest someone who doesn't hold it against you.

After three years in the Twin Cities, I'm convinced that the vaunted "Minnesota Nice" was in fact the Vikings' secret weapon. They didn't rape, pillage and invade; they subdued Europe with glassy-eyed passive-aggression and ambrosia salad.
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[User Picture]From: faithellen
2008-09-03 06:40 pm (UTC)
And red jell-O.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2008-09-03 05:52 pm (UTC)
Ok I can so climb on and ride the dislike of persons in a group. Then they form this organism that is frankly just a little scary ....



Edited at 2008-09-03 05:53 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: buglefly
2008-09-03 07:42 pm (UTC)
Standing there, rictus grin of sociability, frozen like a feral cat in a trap, politely listening, a slight thorazine shuffle...that means I don't know you very well and I'm going to pretend that I have a shred of Southern hospitality.

I usually have shredded hospitality on my grits. Its kinda like having cheese.
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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2008-09-03 10:10 pm (UTC)
I will try and make it to the tent sooner with my fresh, cool beverage in hand. I've been slacking as of late! :-)

Hmmmm Southern hospitality? You? hehehehe
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[User Picture]From: stonethrow
2008-09-03 10:37 pm (UTC)
I guess maybe we should have offered your a shot of what was in the flask.

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[User Picture]From: thewhitedragon
2008-09-04 02:45 pm (UTC)
I try not to bother y'all when I see that you're busy... either chatting away with eager fans or just working up the set list. I always try to wave when I go by though.

That said? If people get offended that you need some alone/busy/me/etc time screw 'em. Or just beat 'em over the head with a stick... that'll most likely work in driving them away as well. *smooch*
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