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Following the leader, but in my own special way... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Following the leader, but in my own special way... [Sep. 19th, 2008|03:37 pm]
terribleturnip
I would last a minute and 47 seconds chained to a bunkbed with a velociraptor, but feel that they neglected to ask about VOG powers. That's Voice of God to those of you who haven't spent enough hours laying about the hound tent. The ability to issue a command that cannot be refused. Sure, loudness and sharpness counts, but true VOG means that you have to, in every fiber of your body, completely expect that you will be obeyed. The first time I took Willow to a meet & greet at PetsMart, a little bichon puppy wandered by. Like a snake, Willow struck and suddenly was standing there with a mouthful of puppy. I thought, oh, if she shakes her head...like they do when they catch something...that little thing's neck is a goner.

So, I issued a VOG "DROP IT". Not only did Willow promptly drop the puppy...you could hear things dropping all over the store. One of my colleagues surmised that my husbandatthetime had just dropped his coffee mug, back home, and didn't know why.

Pah! If I can back a stallion up several car lengths just with voice and pissed offedness...I could lay a velociraptor flat. See, they didn't HAVE VOG back then...it'd never know what hit it.

And for the picture meme running rampant...I'd have to find the camera, the battery charger, the downloading thingy to put the chip into, take the picture, take it again only so that my entire face is in it, figure out why the format is unuseable, finally get it worked out, only to have the picture show up sideways and half pixelated...by the time I got it done, I'd look older.

So, just look at my icon picture --- imagine Percy blonder and with a big zit on his chin...with boobs. That should do it....
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: 3fingeredsalute
2008-09-20 04:18 am (UTC)
Is it wrong that I almost understand the Douglas Adams' use of "Vogon poetry?" (I can only assume it means "Voice Of God On Nyquil", which makes sense in a Hitchhiker's Guide sort of way.)

I'm still trying to figure out what a "zit on a chin with boobs" would look like. Maybe if the tongue wasn't hanging down in the way?

Old mystery solved, new mystery to ponder.
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