||[Nov. 26th, 2008|02:12 pm]
A supplier just wished me "Happy Thanksgiving, gobel, gobel, gobel" and I'm trying to figure out if this is an obscure reference to the comedian, or if Turkeys down here have a different accent. I'm dying to spell it slightly different and throw an umlaut in...|
Turkeys are a bit near and dear to my heart. And while everybody around me is being all thankful...in my usual curmudgeon manner, I won't have any part of it. I try to be thankful as I go, not save it all up for a single day. But I was raised by a man who, when my mother was trying to convince him to go to church one Easter, said "Jane, I'm not going to church on Easter with all of the other once a year reprobates. If I'm going to go once a year, I'll go when it's slow and they could use a little pew stuffing, like August." Which I love about my Dad.
So, I'll be thankful in like February, when everyone else is panty twisting about whether they should break up with their boyfriend before Valentine's Day or after, if being single on Valentine's Day is worse than hooking up with someone just to not be single on Valentine's Day, whether their husband will actually remember V-Day without fourteen reminders, whether they'll be able to get a babysitter that night so that they can go out for an adult, romantic dinner. Okay, maybe I'll find a quieter time of year. Or just stick with my plan to just be thankful right away.
After all, what if the person you're thankful for dies before Thanksgiving? Nah, don't wait. I'll be celebrating T-Day as it is -- a day to eat a boatload of carbs, make sure everyone has just ENOUGH alcohol and not too much and keep relatives from arguing on the big family gathering day.
And yes, despite my affinity for Turkeys...I'll eat one. Because sentiment only goes so far. I fell in love a bit with Turkeys, when a read a really great book "Illumination in the Flatwoods" by Joe Hutto, a guy who found a clutch of turkey eggs and saved them from imminent destruction, wound up incubating and hatching them, and then raising them and releasing them into the wild. It's a neat book from a Turkey life and behavior perspective -- and even neater as an exploration of one person crossing the line with wildlife. That sort of quasi-relationship you have with wild creatures that is nothing like pet, but more than just a passing acquaintance. I highly recommend it.
But there's another reason me and turkeys are tight. And since I'll be offline for several days, I will deliver unto you a secret from my past.
I played Turkey Lurkey in a high school play. Yup. Watched hours of turkey footage and spent half a day at a turkey farm observing turkey movement and sound. I was a damn good turkey. So damn good, that I won Honorable Mention as Best Actress for my portayal of Turkey Lurkey (it was just a bit part in a play where we all played many characters -- Storybook Theater, so not really eligible for the big award) in the State Drama competition.
A damn good turkey impression.
And no, I'm not going to do it for you. Not. Ever.
How do you wish a Happy Thanksgiving to a friend who is participating only for the carbs?
Edited at 2008-11-26 08:40 pm (UTC)
NOW I'M GOING TO BE TALKING LIKE A NAZI FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
Vhy, iz dis a problem for you?
Comun zee here, unt feel my Farvignugen, Frau Sheena. Oh, look, zee kiddies are messing up zee Deutschmark Bin...
I'll trade you my pony impression and a gull vocalization for your turkey impression.
Turkeys are cool. Friends of ours have an organic farm and they raise, among other things, turkeys. Not the giant, white all-breast-meat beasts but "antique" breeds. One type is white with black flecks, the other is all dark and slender, sort of streamlined. The males spend 90% of their time displaying at each other: stamping their feet, "gobbling" and making that "humph!" drum/subvocalization noise. The females are apparently silent, they ignore the males and either take turns incubating their shared nest or lie down together head to tail.
They would remind me of dinosaurs if I had ever seen one.
I find myself unequal to the task of quantifying exactly what I would pay/exchange/give in order to hear that...
I know EXACTLY what I would pay/exchange/give!!!!! Oh, baby, do I! You'd better start practicing now, my dear. xoxoxox
Not even for K cider? :-)