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Every bitter snowball has a coppery lining... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Every bitter snowball has a coppery lining... [Feb. 8th, 2009|09:23 am]
Bitter snowball. I HAD to go into work this morning. Not because they demand it of me, but just because I. Am. Drowning. And I have to get a little bit ahead on a day where I can actually deal with ten e-mails before another 25 hit the in-box.

And yesterday I gave to the Virginia Faire -- walking through the site, checking out how everything weathered, making the list of projects for the season. The greatness of seeing everyone again was overwhelmed by a checklist that represents about 5,000 more manhours that we have and ten times that amount in cash. I'm trying to hang on to the positive, yay, we're getting going. And true, if we did darn near none of it, technically speaking, we could still put on the show (thank you for reminding me) but our expectations have risen so far beyond that. And really, there were moments of such delight -- seeing people I hadn't seen in months, seeing how jazzed they are to get going, knowing that we've been building this core of great people who will get things done. And of course, being brought to tears by one person's very funny impersonation of a Virginia Faire end of day meeting.

But still, there's the onerous task that I hate, hate, hate, hate. Now I have to weigh the money and manhours we have against what has to be done, what needs to be done, what we want to get done. Which means I'm going to have to nix a lot of what people want/think should be done. Forbid people to work on things that are near and dear to their hearts, so that we can drive that energy/labor into other projects. A few will take it well. I'll let you imagine how it will go down otherwise.

Yay. I did a personality assessment thing here at work that says I have a high need to be liked by the people around me. Huh. Boy, did I pick the wrong bloody hobby!

Anyway, so I'm carrying that glum rhesus on my shoulder, and pretty bitter about getting up at 6am on a Sunday to get into work, so that I can get back home and pretend that I have a personal life for a couple of hours - if personal life is defined by laundry and paying bills -- and as I'm driving, I notice the light. When I got up to walk the dog, the sky was like a Maxwell Parrish -- that pink and powder blue, with sun-limned white fluffy clouds. But as I'm driving to work, I notice that the clouds have lowered and gotten heavy. But the sun was still rising and it cast a golden, no, light coppery, color on the treetops, against a cloud background that was deep, deep wedgewood blue. Breathtaking. I wanted to stop the car and just look at it. For hours. It cast that light all the way to work and I had to think if I hadn't gotten up for work so early, I would have missed that.

[User Picture]From: stonethrow
2009-02-09 01:22 am (UTC)
Hugs miss you whole bunches. You were so close yet so far. Hugs and love.
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