|Oh, the things we do!
||[Mar. 4th, 2009|09:54 am]
I realized yesterday that I keep meaning to post, have all sorts of "shorts" bouncing around in my head. And I resolved to focus, center, and get some of it out there. |
If I was smart, I'd ration them out, so that I didn't then exhaust them all at once. But hey, I do this mostly as a brain exercise and it's time to get my brain's ass off of the couch and into gear.
(That high-pitched sound you hear right now is my brain whimpering. Slacker.)
So the other morning, as I stuck my mascara down my cleavage on the way into work, and the Captain politely only raised his eyebrows because he has better restraint than I do and would never say "What the hell are you doing that for?!" I thought, hmmm, it seems normal to me, but I guess it DOES seem strange.
Yes, I have a makeup kit in the car. I don't always have time in the morning to get it done inside and there is one traffic light where I have to sit through three complete changes, so I have plenty of time then.
But, of course, this time of year, that stuff gets cold, almost frozen. And, well, trust me, you can't put frozen mascara on. You can't even get the little wand out of the stick. And the foundation (that's the liquid stuff you put all over your face, my non-cross-dressing male friends) gets a little sluggish.
So once I'm in the car, usually AFTER dropping off the Captain at the station, I pop the mascara tube down my cleavage and tuck the foundation bottle between my legs.
What? Oh, c'mon, I'm from New England. The Holy Quad of Thaw: Mouth, Cleavage, Armpit, Crotch. You work outside at all, especially in a farming situation, this is your winter rosary. Why waste time going inside and why waste money on those new-fangled heating devices, when you were BORN with them?
Anyway. That's what I do. Because it works. And for my minimal make-up needs, that's good enough. But I will admit, until it was witnessed by another, I'd forgotten just how weird it was. Almost weird enough to make me resolve to try harder to get the job done inside. Almost.
What's your weird thing, that seems normal until you have a witness?
Before I finished reading your explanation I knew it was to keep your makeup warm :-) Cause, I do the same thing...well, almost the same thing as I don't EVER leave my house without makeup on, or Lycra on my thighs..but that is only because I was brought up right :-) *snicker*
Otherwise, I always have to walk on the right side of the other person. I don't know why. OCD issues.
I keep my valuables in my bra when I go out. It's thief proof as no one is getting in there unless I want them too and there is barely enough space for my boobs, credit cards, cell phone and car keys so I'm going to notice a hand in there. Well unless I'm really Helmet and then I usually have a handler :-)
Quite familiar with the whole cleavage bit. You should've seen the look I got when I told my (very) gay ex BIL "ok c'mon quick bein so damned prissy just stuff 'em under my boobs" when his hands were near frostbit.
Trust me I wish I *would* have had witnesses for that one.
btw - chicken's butts if they're available make the bestest hand warmers. Just wash up good afterwards.
I always heat my Progresso soup in a measuring cup, never a bowl.
Makeup-wise, when I bother, I almost always end up putting in on in the car in the parking lot of my destination.
Weird thing-wise, I apparently stir things on my plate -- like chili or stir fry -- constantly while eating them. I had no clue I was doing this until my brother pointed it out and said I was JUST LIKE MOM.
AAAAHHHH! Just like Mom! Is your brother still alive?
Yeah, he's still alive. I was too busy laughing at him to kill him. Which also makes me JUST LIKE MOM.
SEE?!! IF THIS ISN'T YET ANOTHER
VALID REASON FOR ME TO GET IMPLANTS, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT!!!Remember folks, pay for one boob and you get your name tattoo'd on it!
has already chosen his font. Edited at 2009-03-04 04:51 pm (UTC)
I constantly make up songs and sing them out loud. To the cats. When school gets out in the summer it takes me a couple of weeks to get used to other people in the house all day and having to act a little more normal.