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This is exactly why I needed to get out of school - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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This is exactly why I needed to get out of school [Sep. 24th, 2009|04:01 pm]
Three days of all-day training sessions. Three days in a room that alternated between "hanging meat" cold and "bitch-slapped by menopause" hot. Three days in a chair that seems to have been designed to violate every ergonomic possibility. Thankfully the topic was interesting to me - contracting strategy and law. And the instructors kept it lively. For contracting strategy and law, that is.

I, of course, managed to put my own indelible stamp on the proceedings. I brought a truly full-blown head cold to the event. Guess how many people wanted to sit by me, after I set up my seat at the table, with its box of tissues, bottle of hand sanitizer (why, yes, I did sanitize my hands everytime I touched my face) and cough drops?

But I soldiered on. Volunteered to take the notes on the easel for our small breakout group, which meant that the marker fumes mixed with the clogged sinuses to make me positively loopy. Loopy enough that when someone said right before I started to present our notes "Make sure you project!" I defaulted to BFA. Thankfully I managed to hear myself right away and was able to finish the executive summary with just a hint of someone else's accent. Later I was accused of mocking our Canadian counterparts -- one of whom is South African -- and I owned that. It beats admitting that you're a RenFaire actor.

The next day, I tried to stifle a sneeze and farted instead. Because air pressure, like water, dogs and toddlers, goes where it can. My colleagues were professional enough not to say anything, and I hold on to the slim hope that maybe they were impressed with my ability to throw my voice...sneeze...under my chair.

Today, though, oh, my. Eyes crossing, head nodding, my restless legs who've been kept at bay by a homeopathic med, said screw you naturopathy, where's my allopathic valium. I'm going to give you kneejerks so hard you bonk the underside of the table. Which made me look oh, so graceful. So I sat funny, and woke up my sciatic nerve. O, yay.

But it's over now, and I'm much more learned. And....once I slog through the 30 voice mails and 237 e-mails that accumulated while I was gone....sigh.

[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2009-09-25 03:27 am (UTC)
"BFA?" Pardon me, I'm being slow here...

And you're taking a homeopathic medicine that helps your RLS??? That is so cool. If you don't mind, I'd love to know what it is.

Hope you feel better soon...
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2009-09-25 11:49 am (UTC)
BFA = Basic Faire Accent

Hyland's Restful legs. It doesn't work all of the time and doesn't seem to work in real hardcore situations (trapped on a plane, say) but works at least half of the time, which is way better than nothing.

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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2009-09-25 03:18 pm (UTC)
Basic Faire Accent- :D Okay, thanks, and thanks for the Hyland's Restful Legs tip, too.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-09-25 09:29 am (UTC)
OK I'm officially jealous. No probably not for your ability to throw your sneeze under your chair (though a great talent at that it is) but Contracting Strategy and Law. LUST !

oooo --- is it a bit warm in here.

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[User Picture]From: mistressfetch
2009-09-25 07:38 pm (UTC)
You fart? I had no idea cause you're so graceful and charming. :-) hehehehehe
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[User Picture]From: regineaubergine
2009-09-26 02:08 am (UTC)
Farts are healthy! My spouse just got recently got out of surgery and they won't let him eat solid foods until he farts. Unfortunately his belly and butt hurt so bad that he is afraid it will hurt even more when he finally "lets rip". Poor thing, kind of like men experiencing childbirth. Anyhoo he is doing fine and should be home on Saturday (providing that he is able to come up with the requisit fart).
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2009-09-28 11:47 am (UTC)
Well, now, that'd be a fun "get-well" card: Hope you fart soon!

Glad to hear he's doing well!
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