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Near Death Experience - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

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Near Death Experience [Sep. 29th, 2009|10:35 am]
terribleturnip
Okay, so I probably wasn't going to DIE if I didn't get popcorn.

But it sure felt like it. A hour ago, we were joking about what you'd really rather be doing right now and I said "laying on the couch with a big bowl of buttered popcorn balanced on my gut watching a movie."

Which of course, is total horsepoop and just proof that I'll embellish anything for the sake of the perfect picture. After all, we all know that "me" and "balance" rarely go together. That sentence would have to be followed by "And then I'd have to get up and pick up all of the popcorn I spilled all over the couch. And then get some Zout to put on my t-shirt that now has a big grease stain on it. Put on a fresh t-shirt. Realize I've missed a good part of the movie. Search for the remote. Attempt to re-wind, but hit the "forward skip" button instead. Wind up in the credits. Go for the menu button and somehow wind up having to sit through the FBI warning. Again."

Not to mention that I can't eat or watch anything laying on my back unless I'm in a hospital bed. I lay on my side to eat or watch television; if I were dictator of the free world, I would totally legislate the return of "Dining Couches, so we can all go back to eating while reclining, a much healthier position. Plus, harder to spill things.

Anyway, once I mentioned the word popcorn, I could then think of nothing else BUT popcorn. Which is bad, because I'm supposed to be writing a Guide to Disposables, which is already hard enough to do, because while I love writing stuff like this, writing stuff like that is painful. Oh, I'm good at it and when it finally starts rolling out, it flows -- but I will procrastinate (LJ, anyone?) and dither until then. The fact that I have overdue contracts and ten thousand other deadlines pressing on me makes it even harder to concentrate on "our procurement philosophy".

The fact that "popcorn" then become the third word in every sentence in my head made it an impossible task. "While disposables popcorn are inherently popcorn less environmentally supportive popcorn..."

Thankfully, they had some downstairs at the Deli of Bad Food Choices. Although it's Airpopped, organic with a hint of sea salt. And I sort of had peanut-oil popped with an assload of butter and salt in mind. So, if you drive by the house later this evening, and see me standing in the kitchen window, just noshing on a stick of butter...well, that's why.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2009-09-29 04:57 pm (UTC)
MORE BUTTER!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bittibuddha
2009-09-29 05:14 pm (UTC)
oh Mer. the depths of my feelings for you trouble me so.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: silvrwillow
2009-09-29 07:50 pm (UTC)
*snarf*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2009-09-29 08:18 pm (UTC)
A stick of butter is easier.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2009-09-29 09:08 pm (UTC)
i hope the whole office was tortured by the waftiness of your popcorn. that is, if airpopped organic smells as good as buttery goodness.
(Reply) (Thread)