?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Friday Randoms - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Friday Randoms [Oct. 9th, 2009|09:18 am]
terribleturnip
A team in England has made a "sustainable" Formula 3 Racing Car. I guess if you have to do it, and I'm going to go out on a limb here - that the population who likes to drive racing cars or watch other people drive racing cars would set fire to the Polar Bears before giving up their beloved...sport. (If you think I'm judging...I am. I don't even like the sound of a fast car and some of the most stultifying moments of my life were ones watching car racing. It's like smelly, noisy golf.) No, but here's the rub: it runs on chocolate. Of all the things we have to use as bio-fuels, really, was chocolate an option? Are there mountains of leftover chocolate somewhere that I don't know about? Because if there were, I'd suddenly take up mountain climbing, lemme tell ya. Well, no, maybe mining...

Okay, okay, it will run on any bio-fuel and I'm sure they'll mostly be using the traditional stuff -- but way to grab a news headline! But it's already hard enough when a truck/car goes by emitting french fry or doughnut fumes. Chocolate? Why are all of those minivans following that truck?

They're making a "reality" or "documentary" series about the trials and tribulations of Michael Vick. Oh, that poor thing. He had everything and then he lost it! Oh, my! He broke the law. He not only condoned, but encouraged and profited and committed animal cruelty. He got far less than he deserved. Throw him in a cage with a hungry Mike Tyson hopped up on Angel Dust. THAT would have been getting what he deserved. (This is funnier if you remember that Mike Tyson bit some guy's ear off. I know, it's not comedy if you have to explain it. But I worry that my reference was too obscure. So, I blew the comedy by explaining it. Because I want the image of Mr. Vick being set upon and chewed up by a guy who's bigger and stronger to be vivid. And now my only hope of being funny is to keep this up until you start laughing because I will NOT stop ruining my joke.)

Except it's not a joke. I want to see that MF with missing chunks. Definitely an ear. And then, frankly, let's euthanize him because he's potentially violent. Because I will buy that some guy who grew up in a poor neighborhood, who couldn't finish school, who ran with a bad crowd, who was surrounded by people who thought this sort of thing was normal or fun...can't grasp that it's cruel and illegal. I will buy that some guy who grew up out in the country where life is hard and people are poor and this is what my family has done for generations and I barely made it out of high school and have never left my home town except for that one field trip to the state capitol...I will buy that he has a hard time realizing that this is not a "sport".

But dude, really, how much money were you making? How much were you spending on this? What's your education, who are you surrounded by, how much of the outside world have you seen? You don't GET to play the same card as those other guys. I don't need PCP to take a chunk out of you.

Ahem.

So, let's talk about the lady who was pulled over by a cop. She had a big box tied to the roof of her van. In it was her young child. Because the car already was full of boxes so she had to put this one on the top. But she wanted to weigh down the box so it didn't fly off. So, she put her kid in it.

Oh, yeah, video games are ruining our kids. Maybe stupid PARENTS are ruining the kids...
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2009-10-09 01:55 pm (UTC)
You've got an interesting idea of comedy this morning, cutie. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-10-09 02:15 pm (UTC)
Oh I want to see the unlovely Mr Vick in a leather thong with a ball thingy (you know what I'm talking about) and forced to fight some of the dogs that have been abused.

If it looks like he's winning, then just jerk him by the balls a few times. Or just because.

I bet people would pay good money to see that - I know *I* would. We could hold a drawing to see who gets to hold his leash.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: chellebelle74
2009-10-09 02:54 pm (UTC)
No, we need to take turns with the leash. Because my arm might get tired and I don't want the pulls to get weaker. We need to make sure each yank is just as good as the others.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-10-09 02:56 pm (UTC)
I love how you think.

;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sestree
2009-10-09 02:56 pm (UTC)
Actually that shouldn't say forced to fight but rather forced to survive.

Revenge served cold and all that.

Of course, I still like jerking the ball thingy...maybe we could hitch him to the back of a speeding greyhound (bus -- but hey the dog would work) by his family jewels.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: im_geva
2009-10-09 02:37 pm (UTC)

Don't get me started

But I think slow electrocution in a pool would be good. Or crushing his skull.

I'd help and feel good doing it. Really.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: piratekalia
2009-10-09 05:08 pm (UTC)

Re: Don't get me started

AMEN SISTA!!!!
That situation pisses me off more and more!!!
But...that lady with the child in the box on the car???? I'm "F"in' dumbfounded!!!!!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: silvrwillow
2009-10-10 02:51 am (UTC)
Oh, yeah, video games are ruining our kids. Maybe stupid PARENTS are ruining the kids...

YES. *THIS* is it, exactly!!! After the craptacular day I had today dealing with the little bastards and their excuse-whining so-called parents, YES.

But I'm not bitter or angry, oh no no...
(Reply) (Thread)