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terribleturnip

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Just snow already. [Feb. 5th, 2010|08:09 am]
terribleturnip
Please, just start snowing, because then maybe everyone will shut up about it. Being the community-involved busy-body that I am, of course, I'm signed up for all sorts of communiques from Montgomery County, from Town of Kensington....apparently they are concerned that I don't know it's going to snow.



I'm trying to figure out what kind of tv-radio-e-mail-free cave you have to be living in to not know.....and of course, if you ARE living in said cave...you're not going to get the 25 e-mail alerts, are you?

Fox News, which I DON'T watch, unless they're featuring Scary Perry, our Halloween event, but on flipping through channels, I caught the commercials for the upcoming news (which is heinously grammatically incorrect, but omigod it's going to SNOW, who has time for edits and proper sentence construction, w'ere all going to DIE!) which frankly, did seem to be making some thinly veiled death threats. I mean, I'm SURE they didn't really say "You'd better listen to our report tonight, because we're going to tell you about the things you need to survive the snowpocalypse and without them...well, we're not responsible for what happens to you."

Seriously, other than prescription medicine that needs to be filled

(and I, personally think that if you're taking medication, the lack of which for 2-3 days could really harm you....and you've let yourself get down to a 2-3 day supply...then maybe we should let nature take it's course. Some of you are making notes right now: Hmmm, remind me to never be trapped in a life-threatening situation with the Turnip. You're half-right. You have actually a pretty good chance of making it out alive. Unless I need to eat you or use you for fuel or bait, in which case the odds go down. Just remember I'm not a big fan of whining and you might be okay.)

Anyway, other than your meds...look, you can actually go without food for two days. And, even if you are culinarily deficient, you still probably have enough food to keep you from eating the furniture. Eating a jar of mustard may not be pleasant, but will keep you going.

I'd go into a rant here about how modern Americans have gone soft and don't know the first thing about hardship.

But, since I probably have enough food in the house, at all times, to keep the Captain and I fed for...well, a good month or more, probably. We may not get our full servings of fruit and vegetables each day...and near the end, I may break into that freezer burned food that's still in the freezer mostly just to keep the freezer full, because it's more economical to run it full.

And if I lost power there'd be a lot of whining. Seriously, if I can't get ahead of the laundry this weekend....

I did hit the grocery store yesterday. I wanted to wear a t-shirt that said "This is my normal shopping day and has nothing to do with the snow." Because, while we have food stocks galore, we are short on salad stuff, dairy, chicken for the dog, laundry detergent, etc. I use the self-scanning wand, so that when I'm through shopping, I'm through.

But of course, yesterday the store was filled with people who've clearly never been in a grocery store before but were obeying some kind of "it's going to snow, so stock up" lemming instinct. And, I still clearly carry some kind of "I work in a grocery store" reek, that I've never quite been able to shed. So, directing old men to the guacamole, reaching things down for little old ladies, explaining the difference between flat-iron and flank steak...

And then it came time to check out. Where there should be a dedicated express lane for people who use the self-scanner because it takes us about three minutes to check out, and that's IF we forget our pin number.

But no, yesterday there were people with full shopping carts who thought that yesterday was a good time to learn how to use the self checkout. I tried to be patient...but there were three people ahead of me, and I could only watch someone wave their can of tomato sauce seven times over the scanner, and then take five minutes to look up a single produce item on the system...and I shoved in, told them to go down and bag, I'd do it.

Zoop, bing, zoop, bing, bang, done. I had them pay, then did the next customer. Then the next. Took care of mine and as I was leaving, the woman in front of me, who was still painstakingly packing her bags said "Oh, you don't even work here...thank you so much for helping me!"

And I said "Don't thank me, the faster you get out, the faster I get out." And in my head....don't fall down in the parking lot, lady, because I will drive right over you to get out of here.

But thankfully that's over with and tonight I can head home and commence with the shoveling. And the drinking. 'Cause there's whisky in the jar...
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: warriorsway
2010-02-05 01:23 pm (UTC)
One day, we should get caught in a life-threatening situation together. Weather- or zombie-related if possible. I think we could do some damage working as a team.
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[User Picture]From: quislet
2010-02-05 02:32 pm (UTC)
Ooh, ooh, me too!
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[User Picture]From: dreamtigress
2010-02-05 03:22 pm (UTC)
Me too !! Or is that me three ?!

Of course, my zombie plan involves taking over the nearest super walmart...
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-02-05 05:36 pm (UTC)
Super Walmart comes pre-populated with Zombies: wwww.peopleofwalmart.com

Island. Zombies can't swim for crap.
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[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2010-02-05 06:38 pm (UTC)
You did not read World War X. Zombies walk underwater.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-02-05 09:36 pm (UTC)
Actually, I did - great book.

However, do you believe everything you read? Because vampires don't sparkle, either.
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[User Picture]From: dreamtigress
2010-02-05 07:32 pm (UTC)
Don't worry... I have a plan for de-populating the walmart of all unwanted entities before occupation.

Having discussed said zombie plans with my ex for hours has developed a highly organized set of criteria.

Yep, I'm a dork.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-02-05 09:37 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but you're still in a Wal-Mart. Target, maybe. But Wal-Mart?

I'd rather be zombie fodder.
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[User Picture]From: dreamtigress
2010-02-06 12:52 am (UTC)
A super walmart has just about everything you would need in order to survive some sort of apocalypse. Guns, ammo, various other weapons, garden tools and garden center, refrigeration units, food, both fresh and long term, generators in case of electrical outage, medical supplies, a pharmacy, bedding, towels, etc. You name it, you need it, they have it.

::stops self:: I debated this with hard core zombie planning geeks. It's scary how much stuff you come up with.
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[User Picture]From: kiltboy
2010-02-06 12:42 am (UTC)
I do hereby throw my hat (and a bottle of rum) into the ring for any such foolhardy expedition likely to get us all stranded. Would make for a great story to tell in years to come. Among other things.
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[User Picture]From: wildwose
2010-02-05 01:36 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2010-02-05 01:58 pm (UTC)

snowpocalypse!

This is why we are friends!!!! LOL! Please keep me in your whiskey drenched thoughts this weekend, as I navigate Blizzilla here on the snowphobic Eastern shore.
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[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-02-05 02:02 pm (UTC)

I've mentioned before that I love you right?

I can see you scooting people over and doing it. I hate self-checkouts because I usually see more clueless people there .........

On a funny note: I was absolutely shocked the first big snowstorm here in Maryland-ville. In the land of nutcases (i.e. Kansas) we have shit on supply to hold us through most of the winter usually. Then again, we get ice there so the grocery stores won't be open because above ground power lines + ice = no electricity ... sometimes for weeks.

I've cooked on a wood stove. No not fried chicken, but soup works.

I've cooked outside in the wellhouse on a coleman stove (while the soup was heating on the wood stove in the kitchen). We filled up every pitcher and container known to mankind when it threatened to storm...wells don't work without electric.

We -- however -- never panicked and had to purchase TP because we usually had a month's supply sitting around just waiting to be used. Same for most staples and supplies. Bread? please we had flour/yeast/eggs just in case ya know. (and yes we had our own chickens and while not exactly the most productive? a little ice? not a problem. They'd still lay a couple/three times a week like clockwork).

Convenience can be a double edged sword I guess?

Edited at 2010-02-05 02:04 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-02-05 03:00 pm (UTC)

Re: I've mentioned before that I love you right?

Well, coming from up north, been there, did that. Although I remember when I first moved down here and there was a really bad thunderstorm and the power was flickering and I ran around filling all of the sinks and tub and several pots with water. And my husband said "what the hell are you doing?" And I said "If the power goes, we're gonna need water, especially to flush the toilet." And he said "Why the hell wouldn't the toilet flush?" City boy, country girl.
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[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2010-02-05 03:02 pm (UTC)

Re: I've mentioned before that I love you right?

Of course, I HAVE to use the self-checkout. Because I get impatient with the paid checkers and want to shove them out of the way and do it for them beause most of them are too slow. And grocery stores sort of frown on that...so it's better than I educate the store's guests, rather than employees!
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[User Picture]From: kiltboy
2010-02-06 12:44 am (UTC)

Re: I've mentioned before that I love you right?

When they first installed Self Checkout lanes at our local grocery store, me and the wife were so freakin' happy! We could shop @ 11:00 pm and not have to deal with another human being at all. In and out in 20 minutes, $90 spent, and no human beings spoken to. Damn, it was great...
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[User Picture]From: ferlonda
2010-02-06 02:41 am (UTC)
Can I come along, too? I'll bring single malt and dadgaderie. He's amazingly helpful in a crunch and I promise not to whine too much.

Re: self checkout. I LOVE the self check out lanes but if dadgaderie's along I send him out of the store because otherwise FIZZBLANG they stop working. He has to be actually out of the store for his aura or whatever it is to not bug the electronics.
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[User Picture]From: regineaubergine
2010-02-07 07:06 pm (UTC)
You are such a great trail boss! I've been taking on that role here with our many houseguests riding out the storm. Keeping 'em fed and trying to keep the boots, coats, hats, and damp socks in some kind of order and not scattered all over the house. 3 managed to get out today :) but it has been fun. Now we just need to re-stock the whisky.
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