?

Log in

No account? Create an account
May the crabforce be with you.... - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

May the crabforce be with you.... [Feb. 26th, 2010|08:48 am]
terribleturnip
Maybe it's because I'm just stiff and sore -- having done the luge down the outside basement...concrete steps...all 8 of them, sliding down them on my back, to land jammed up against the opposite side of the stairwell. (Note: Your vertebrae make you a very inefficient luge-er. Well on stairs, at least..little bastards catch on EVERY freaking step. Although I suppose that's for the good, as it's probably better than I shed some speed before I hit the wall.)

But I am taking issue with everything today.

I just sent an e-mail to a distributor, complaining (again) about something that is never going to change, that I have explained half a dozen time...and I used the phrase "I'm struggling to really care".

Luckily I noticed before I hit "send". But clearly I need a deep-cleansing breath.

This morning, a movie reviewer, talking about the movie, The Crazies, referenced someone stalking the heroine, dragging a pitchfork. I have seen the previews and, Ms. Reviewer, that is NOT a pitchfork. A pitchfork has long narrow tines that curve down and then up, slightly, to form a slight basket to hold lots of hay. A pitchfork would enter a body easily, but then probably get caught up on ribs and whatnot, so don't bother trying to pull it back out. And for heavens sake, don't try to then "pitch" the body with it...it's made for a bundle of hay or grass, not 200 pounds of screaming, struggling body.

What the crazy murderous person is dragging it a turning fork, spading fork, gardening fork, but not a pitchfork. It's not made for pitching things, it's made for stabbing into the ground and then twisting or levering, to break up the soil. The tines are straight, so you can go deep. Of course, the one in the movie is like the one I have at home, and it's not really very sharp, although they do come pointier. But I'm used to New England clay and rocks, so those sissy English narrow tines aren't for me. You'd have to be a strong SOB to nail someone with that...but I suppose we're talking "crazy", so I'll let that slide.

Ya gotta know your tools, is all I'm saying.

There's also an article that has bunched my panties in a whole 'nother direction.

http://thepauperedchef.com/2010/02/the-mystery-of-the-chicken-oyster.html

Oh, you can call it an oyster. And I'm not mad at the author for using the term...after all, I use Pope's Nose. Although we called the chicken "oysters" the cook's tip. Because when you cooked a chicken and then broke it down/carved it for the table, the cook is the one who gets to nab those delicious little bits. It's just that I wish they'd made mention of the horrid misuse of Chicken Tenderloins - because THAT'S what an oyster is, the chicken's tenderloin. Because it's in the LOIN area. And tender. As opposed to what they call chicken tenderloins, which is part of the breast. It's a freaking PECTORAL muscle!

Ya gotta know your anatomy, is all I'm saying.

Hmm...I started out writing about how I was so crabby today...and I've wound up with what's starting to sound like a cannibalistic serial killer's screed...

Pity the poor sales reps I'm meeting with today...
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: sestree
2010-02-26 02:24 pm (UTC)
I love you for knowing your tools.

*snicker*

I needed the giggle -- otherwise I'd be booking Southwest Flights to cram my egotistical ex's ego right up his alter-ego....

without benefit of farm implements - I'd hand-mandle that jackass.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: warriorsway
2010-02-26 08:59 pm (UTC)
Heh. You said 'go deep'. And 'panties'. Heh.
(Reply) (Thread)