|Who needs People of Walmart dot com when you have Chevy Chase Bank?
||[Sep. 30th, 2010|03:14 pm]
Yes, I know, it's Capital One now. Dear Capital One, your ad agency is da BOMB. However, while I thought it would be hard to beat Chevy Chase in suckitude service...you may well have managed. I will give you some time. |
But seriously, the other day waiting in line to make a deposit...(by the way, for the record, if I can use my ATM card to take money out of my account outside, I should be able to use that same ATM card inside to make a deposit, even if I can't remember my account number. I am putting money IN my account, people. Don't ask me to produce a driver's license to prove that I didn't steal the ATM card. If I stole an ATM card, I highly doubt that I'm going to then use it to put money INTO the account.)
But this was before that insanity started and some fat geezer was at the teller ahead of me and he kept leaning on the counter and when he did, his shirt rose up. And his pants and underwear had already fallen down enough, that plumber's crack didn't really describe it...and coin slot was definitely not going to work. And now I've thought of a whole bunch of alternatives and have grossed my self out. Completely.
It WAS a dreadful sight. Especially, as he kept hoisting himself up to lean even more onto the counter and thus foisted his half-ass at the rest of us. And there were a couple of us, rolling our eyes, shrugging. And since I was bored, and feeling combative, I finally said, "Excuse me, sir! You need to pull up your pants." And there was much uncomfortable twittering, and he grumbled, but hoisted them back up and went back to hoisting and foisting, but at least now, it didn't burn out anybody's eyes.
And I thought, maybe that's it. Instead of taking anonymous pictures and posting them on peopleofwalmart.com, we just need to get a little bit more confrontational. Maybe some of those people have no idea they are grossing everyone else out...and maybe some of them would care. And not punch out my lights. Maybe.
But before I could put my plan into motion, I got paid back by the universe. As I was leaving the bank, thoroughly cheesed by needing to produce a driver's license, this guy was in my way. Tall guy, khakis, green polo shirt, grey hair cut short, his back to me, standing between me and the door, berating the customer service person about something.
So, I'm standing behind him, clutching the tiny shred of patience I had left, waiting for him to finish and get the hell out of my way....when suddenly he turns around.
Imagine my surprise when I come face to...tits. Or at least a bra. A padded bra, from the texture visible underneath the polo shirt. And I look up into a what is clearly a man's face.
For once, I was overcome with discretion and did NOT yell "What the hell are you wearing a bra for?!"
Please note: I could give a rat's patoot what equipment you have. Whatever you have chosen to dress as, that's what I'm going to consider you. I have friends who are women one day, men the other...I figure if you're wearing a skirt and corset (in earnest, not as a joke), then today you are a girl. But that single note of "bra" in a sea of "I am a man" was very disorienting. I have noticed a bizarre number of men on peopleofwalmartdotcom and as one wag noted "there may well be more men wearing them than women". As someone has spent her whole life struggling with the f-ing things, becoming near suicidal when a "favorite" bra was discontinued because the only thing worse than wearing one on a daily basis would be trying them on...I cannot imagine why you would choose it if you didn't need it.
But maybe that's the secret.