|Find Your Happy Place, Damnit!
||[Dec. 3rd, 2010|11:52 am]
Things that are making me happy:|
That Hanukkah is finally far enough away from Christmas that I’ve had enough spare brain cells to peruse and snag some excellent recipes (Bris-ket, you are my darling...). And have time to send off some Hanukkah wishes, as opposed to making it seem that I’m all “Merry Christmas” and BTW.....Happy H!
I finally broke down and at a work lunch tasted one of those “we want to add more dollars to your order by making dessert, but we’re a pizza company so we’ll just put sugar and cinnamon on the same damn thing you just ate and call it dessert” dessert pizza things. And now I will never, ever be tempted again, because it was GAGGABLE. Plus, it’s the same damn thing I just ate, only sweet. Mama ain’t big on repeats. Another potential temptation crossed off the list.
Although my stomach still feels like it had a chemical peel (those of you who’ve managed to retain your Anat & Physio classes will get the irony here) and my head is pounding at a slightly slower beat and we seem to have traded down to Bongo drum, from Kettle drum...I’ve managed to lose five pounds, despite stress-eating. Yes, I’m eating BAD things. I fell for a Snowball yesterday. It was white. While I adore the ur-Snowballness of the Pink ones, the purity and utter-snowballness of the White Snowballs calls to me. Salted cashews. Potato Chips (although they were low salt and I managed to make the bag last three days) and even Dulce de Leche ice cream. But not very MUCH of anything. So, yay for being a little less fat, despite falls from grace.
And I’m insisting that the Captain and I walk each night for a good 20 minutes before dinner. Which is no miracle weightloss/exercise plan...but reminded me of one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned but that I keep FORGETTING: If you wait until you can do the WHOLE THING or do it PERFECTLY, you may never actually DO IT -- that is, wait until your house is clean and you have the time/money to cook a fabulous meal and throw an elaborate dinner party for your friends. By the time you get to that, your friends may have wandered off. Sometimes spaghetti in a house of squalor or hot dogs on the grill are good enough. Or, find the right health club, or the right exercise class or video, or equipment...how about you just get off your fat ass and move. Think about the perfect exercise plan while you’re walking around the block instead of sitting on the couch. Instead of wallowing in despair because you really need a whole day or a whole weekend to attack your messy-room-of-choice, why not just spend 15 minutes every morning and every night and keep at it until you’re done. I have remembered...AGAIN...to stop wringing my hands and just freaking chip away at it. Fer crissakes, I’m an atheist, I KNOW the Grand Canyon didn't just ge POOF, MADE! I need to be a freaking river and just flow. So, while I’d be happier if I would STOP forgetting that...I’m glad it’s back.
There are an assload of things I did not get done over the past couple of months. But I DID get all of my garden/plants winterized, so I’ll be able to bypass the annual handwringing over why did I spend so much money on pots/plants if I was just going to let them frostcrack/die/go to waste. Plus, I totally attacked the “garden” on the side of the yard, so next year it will be lovely and pretty, instead of reminding me every time I pull into the driveway that I am inadequate, have let the yard go to hell and the kindest thing I could to for everyone is suck it up and go live in an apartment with no yard. PLUS, I did not get even a tiny single TOUCH of poison ivy. Part of the reason I let it go was because I was afraid. So, here’s to NOT being covered in weeping sores and being put on medication that almost put me in a psychiatric ward. And any time you can avoid sores and straightjackets, well, that's SUCCESS.
Although I may win world’s worst Aunt award for failing to send gifts to my family members throughout the year, buying small things to commemorate special non-birthday occasions, but actually failing to MAIL them...at least I am pretty damn prepared for Christmas and don’t need to wring my hands over having a teensy-sized gift budget.
I don’t decorate much for Christmas – Halloween wipes me out and I’m pretty much all about the tree, which doesn’t go up until right before Christmas – still, last night I got out what decorations I do put out. The evergreen scented candle for the bathroom, the little wreath for the kitchen, the wooden Santa to sit on top of the bookcase...and of course the Reindeer Antlers for the Skull and the Santa Chthulu. Because it doesn’t get more festive than bones and tentacles. In their Christmas finery.
I will not have a dog for Christmas, which is hard, hard, hard. But it gives me time to really be ready, financially and logistically, to prepare. And I’ve got a list of things that need to happen and will make them happen. Because it is a joy postponed and nothing more. And a gift of time and concentration right now that I can really use. And a whole year to ensure that the Christmas tree doesn’t blow the housetraining issue. Now, if I can just get the cats to stop throwing up.
In the last three weeks I have told three complete strangers in stores to pull up their damn pants. I guess I have to proselytize about something. I feel better having addressed it. Although I suspect that I should be hanging out in better places. Still, I am easy to amuse. And it’s good to know that as long as there are Crap-Marts, I will always have something to do. Until they ban me for harassing their customers.