|Ten things you probably didn't know
||[Aug. 8th, 2011|03:51 pm]
I’m going to do this one – because it ends with a picture and I’ve been meaning to get my act together and figure out how to put up a picture. (I know, it’s not HARD. Just something that’s really easy to blow off learning, so maybe this will make me do it.) Besides I’m stressed and NEED to write, but too stressed to choose my own topics. I was going to re-arrange these for a more felicitous flow of funny, sad, etc. But then, what the heck, this is how my head wandered around the task, so the order stays. |
Well, THAT’S hard. I mean, I a bit of an over-sharer, right? How much can be LEFT?
1. I struggle with mild depression. My critters are the rope ladder that take me through it, time and time again. One of them always needs something – a walk, a poop scooped, a food bowl filled, a bed washed, a “hey-whatcha-doing?” paw in the face. It’s hard to wallow in face over something else’s overwhelming need. Life might be simpler without all of the fur, but would probably require medication.
2. I cry at the drop of a hat. It’s embarrassing. When I get angry, really happy – anything strong, and the waterworks come on. Previews in movies get me all of the time. Something heart-wrenching, something overwhelmingly beautiful or powerful. Any variation of “Your mother can’t be with you now, Bambi” and I am GONE. Just typing that made me tear up. Fer crissakes. To make it worse, I have a faulty tear duct in my right eye and it will sometimes go on for HOURS afterwards.
3. I have spent most of my life not being able to blow my nose. Until about 5 years ago, no matter how hard I tried, nothing happened. Years of my mother hollering at me to “stop sniffling and blow your nose, for crying out loud!” and trying and trying and trying, to no avail. I felt like a complete loser. A couple of years ago I was talking to my mother about how suddenly, for no apparent reason, I tried blowing my nose and it worked! And she said “Oh, you and your father! He’s never been able to blow his nose either, I don’t know what’s wrong with you two.” Wait. All of those years of feeling like a complete nincompoop for not being able to blow my nose and it turns out that it’s not just ME? It’s a genetic incompetency? Gee, that would have made me FEEL better, at least.
4. I’m allergic to most kinds of metal. Thankfully, that’s eased up a bit as I’ve gotten older and rings usually aren’t a problem and earrings and necklaces seem to be okay – assuming that I only wear the non-hypoallergenic stuff for a day and it’s not a hot sweaty open-pored kind of day. But my wrist? Pretty much never. Which is fine with me because my wrists are very large and typically bracelets designed for women won’t fit anyway, so I can use the allergy thing as an easy excuse.
5. I often worry that people don’t really LIKE me and just tolerate me for one reason or another – for the food, the funny, the company I keep, whatever.
6. My favorite color is actually purple. I’ve always said it was green or brown, because purple is such a girly thing. And it’s true that I do like to surround myself in browns and greens...but I am a sucker for a purple shirt, a purple coat or a purple flowering plant.
7. I’ve never made a soufflé in my entire life. Nor an omelet. There are vast bodies of cooking knowledge about which I’m completely clueless. Mostly because my whole experience was based around things I like, or the repetitive nature of foodservice. And then my business was based on the need to freeze the meals and to have a certain range of food cost per meal. So I can do a thousand things with a flank steak, but I had a client order beef tenderloin for one of her parties and I had to LOOK UP THE RECIPE IN A BOOK because I had no idea how long or at what temperature. I sometimes watch the competitive cooking shows and think “I couldn’t compete with the worst of the candidates” because the whole mystery box/mystery ingredient thing would KILL me. Although…I CAN sear a scallop with the best of them…and I’m definitely baffled as to how anyone would consider being a contestant without having learned to sear a scallop. You ALWAYS have to sear a scallop, my friends. It’s like the Waterloo of cookery.
8. When it comes to horror movies, I can watch all sorts of really terrible, graphic things. As long as it’s a monster, alien or other “thing” doing them. I cannot on the other hand, watch people hurting other people. Michael and Leatherface count as monsters, but Hostel and Saw…were very, very hard to watch. I got through two of each series and decided I never needed to watch another one. I can watch a werewolf rip the limbs and throats of an entire village. But I have to look away if it’s a human beating or torturing another human.
9. I believe that most recent past life was some kind of animal that became roadkill on a highway bounded by Jersey Barriers. I don’t really believe in reincarnation necessarily, but I have no other explanation for the visceral reaction I have when I see some poor critter that obviously made its way onto the highway, got trapped and then hit and killed. I don’t have the same reaction at all to an animal dead on the side of a regular road. But Jersey barriers…when I see the body, I get a flash of panic and lights and noise and TRAPPED, TRAPPED, PANIC, TRAPPED. (Look, even atheists can have moments of drama queen woo-woo. That’s mine.) Yeah, I know, the rest of you were Cleopatra, or some nobleman during the Hapsburg Empire. I was a oppossum on I-95.
10. I HATE learning new things, especially physical things when people are watching. Give me the book, the tape, the diagram, let me go practice it in private and when I’m decent, I’ll come back out into the light. Until then – look away, nothing to see here. A group class gives me the willies. No witnesses to my ineptitude, thank you very much!
11. Because this post is one better. It goes to eleven. I can keep a secret. Not my own, obviously, but really, seriously, if you tell me to not tell anyone, I won't. Ever. I am probably the ONLY person in my family who can do that, so I really take it as a sacred trust. Of course it helps, that fifteen minutes later, I probably will have forgotten what you told me...