?

Log in

No account? Create an account
You're ruining my holiday - It seemed like a good idea at the time... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
terribleturnip

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

You're ruining my holiday [Oct. 10th, 2012|10:29 am]
terribleturnip
You’re ruining my holiday.

Just say NO to Hallowsluts, shall we? If you have to have a “Most Sexy Costume” category, make sure it’s based on overall enticing, character, and not just on amount of skin showing. And for crissakes, break the mold and give it to a guy. Let the WOMEN judge.

Hey, I’m all about being proud of your body. And am clearly not shy about putting my best features forward. And totally support one of the basic tenets of Halloween, which is a chance to spread your wings and revel in being someone else, or a facet of you that doesn’t get out to play.

But if you’ve tried costume shopping lately -- yes, yes, yes, I know, there are a billion costumes you can just whip up on your own….I dress a whole freaking STREET on Halloween and frankly can use a costume that I can just pop into, sans large amounts of fuss, muss, makeup, and assembly. I get a whopping uninterrupted 15 minutes to dress out, my friends, if I’m very, very lucky…which is why most of my actual Halloween costumes involve the same damn costume I wear all the time, with a little extra make-up or accessories. But if you have tried to buy a premade costume, and you’re a woman, here are your choices – Slutty Pirate, Slutty Kitty Kat, Slutty Nurse, Slutty Vampire, Slutty Mummy, Slutty Bunny, Slutty Barbarian Wench, Slutty French Waitress, Slutty Fairy (goes without saying) and Slutty Slut McSlutterson Prostitute.

I mean, come ON. I have to look at Plus Size costumes just to get something that would hang more than a quarter of an inch below my ASS. And in most of the country, it’s freaking COLD outside on Halloween night. Girls, you don’t look hot in those costumes on Halloween, just cold and easy. (Please note, when I trash women who look easy…I’m trashing you for LOOKING easy. Be as promiscuous as you want – but make it look like they’re at least going to have to WORK for it. Who the hell wants to sleep with a lazy bastard who pursues easy pickings?)

Hey, there are parties where the whole POINT is to let your licentious, lascivious self fly free, and that’s cool. But this has become so out of control, so de rigueur, that non-slut costumes for young women have all but disappeared from store shelves. If you think that this:

http://hypervocal.com/entertainment/2012/the-evolution-of-girls-halloween-costumes/

is exaggerated to make a point, let me assure you, it isn’t.

Moms & Dads, I know, I grew up with a Halloween-hating, craft-impaired mother. The thought of MAKING a Halloween costume…I get it. But PLEASE, PLEASE, especially if one of your children is a girl, teach them contempt for storebought costumes NOW, right NOW, repulsion at the sight of cheap, thin polyester, so that they can keep a healthy perspective on their own bodies, their own characters and resist the slut culture that seems to pervade the shelves of the ready-made. Make a big expletive deal about making a costume, turn it into a project, and give them the skills so that they can always CHOOSE what they want to be, and take pride in it. And when I say “make a costume” that could be as simple as buying a ready made dress and adding accessories, or gluing on things to turn it into something special. I’m not talking about sewing by hand. Yay, you, if you can…but this sewing impaired person will never judge you for taking a green dress from the thrift store and hot gluing fake leaves to it. And gluing up the hem because it was too big. And using a sharpie. There are lots of online resources for making simple non-sewing costumes. Martha Stewart even has some very cool costumes that require not very much effort or skill.

Otherwise that’s going to be your little girl out there, in the dark, underage, dressed like jailbait, because all the other girls….

Now is a great time to teach them that they’re BETTER than all the other girls…smarter, cleverer, and craftier.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2012-10-10 02:55 pm (UTC)
nice rant ... and a very valid point (actually several)

rock on
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2012-10-10 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yep! here are 2 of my usual examples:

http://www.halloweencostumes.com/sexy-spider-girl-costume.html

http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/products/sh7544.html

(Really, why would anyone want to be a sexy fedex driver?)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: terribleturnip
2012-10-10 03:17 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2012-10-10 03:18 pm (UTC)
Yeah that wins the WTF award.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2012-10-11 12:59 am (UTC)
Necrophiliacs, anyone?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2012-10-10 06:43 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!!!!! that cracked me up. Sexy Fed Ex?? WTH! sounds like a terrible movie plot. but then no one watches those for the plot anyway.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kiltboy
2012-10-10 08:22 pm (UTC)
*knock, knock* Fed Ex! Got a Special Delivery!

*housewife* - "Oh, looks like my Hickory Farms "Whole Lot O'Sausage" mega-pack has arrived. And it sure is a special delivery, Mr. Fed Ex Guy...

< cue "brown chicken, brown cow" >

Damned formatting problems...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2012-10-10 08:48 pm (UTC)
except the "Sexy Fed Ex" costume is for women. that's a totally different movie.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2012-10-10 09:13 pm (UTC)
yes it is

* knock knock ... hello, this is Maria from FedEx

* guy - oh boy ... I'll bet this is my special bearded clam delivery ... with all natural juices

* pantless Maria in the FedEx shirt/minidress enters, her hands slowly moving up her thighs, as she purrs "and where would you like it delivered?"

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2012-10-11 12:59 am (UTC)
these movies are terrible. i'm glad i have a hundred other channels to watch. :P
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: kudrasslipper
2012-10-10 03:43 pm (UTC)
YAY for Ma~ who insisted on going as Merida from Brave this year. YAY dual-use Moresca dress! YAY big red wig that will keep her head warm! YAY being armed with bow and arrows! .....wait.... er....

BTW... I love the adult unicorn costume. That's basically a pelt-away from being a Furry. It made me LOL.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: queenmaggie
2012-10-10 04:52 pm (UTC)
I ALWAYS made my kid's costumes...and they were boys. But they wanted to 'be' someone that wasn't like everyone else (go figure; apples don't fall far) I remember making a Black Power Ranger costume the year that movie came out; but it wasn't the standard one. He wanted the one before they transformed, with the embroidered toad on the front (okay, it was machine free hand embroidery...) I also made the Phantom of the Opera before the masks be came ubiquitous, Spiderman, and last year Zuzu got to be a banana, that peeled with velcro. I kinda think this year she'll be wearing the princess outfit that she wore to faire.
But "sexy" on a 5 year old? Now that makes me shudder!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: thatliardiego
2012-10-10 05:45 pm (UTC)
I'm waiting for "Sexy John Madden," "Sexy Newt Gingrich," "Sexy Roseanne Barr" and "Sexy (Yet Very Dead) Elvis."
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kitteblue
2012-10-10 06:31 pm (UTC)
"Sexy (Yet Very Dead) Elvis"

Well, we can start here and do zombie makeup?
http://www.wondercostumes.com/vegas-king-costume-adult-ptvkca.html
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawntreader90
2012-10-10 06:48 pm (UTC)
i'm disappointed. "Slutty Slut McSlutterson Prostitute" and now that you've said it out loud, THERE GOES MY BIG CREATIVE IDEA DAMMIT.

(on another topic. hooray! i'm going to go load some halloween icons now.)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sequinedlovenun
2012-10-10 07:00 pm (UTC)
YES!!!!!!!!!! You are absolutely right about all of this, but sadly the people who need to hear it won't, because they are too busy running out to sexualize their young daughters by buying them push up trainer bras and pre-teen thongs.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sestree
2012-10-10 11:24 pm (UTC)
Sadly yes this ;(
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fountaingirl
2012-10-10 11:59 pm (UTC)
There's even a "sexy hamburger" costume now. WTF.

I have taught both kids that most costumes you get in the store suck balls. Even the ones that aren't super sexy/sleazy are ridiculously chintzy and the fabric is thin and they are both expensive and lame.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: russell_moore
2012-10-11 01:13 pm (UTC)
hey now ... I know for a fact Five Guys burgers are sometimes better than sex, so that elevates them on the sexiness scale

but yeah, someone dressed as a burger, even a Five Guys burger, wouldn't have the same appeal in most instances
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pyratelady
2012-10-11 01:01 am (UTC)
The only one that makes sense to me is the sexy devil costume. 'Cause SIN and all. But sexy Minnie Mouse? Slutty Dorothy? Creeptastic.
(Reply) (Thread)