||[Jan. 14th, 2013|03:59 pm]
Here's my revolutionary new idea that can't fail to succeed, except that getting enough people to sign up would be hard, plus people are liars.
Here's the problem. You work with someone. He's a lot of fun. You've been out for drinks in a group a couple of times, and one night everyone else bails and you're hungry and you say "wanna grab a bite to eat?" Because, well, you're hungry and he's fun and interesting enough that you're thinking great dinner conversations, as opposed to getting take-out from Chipotle and going home to keep company with your Kindle.
And you're having a GREAT time. Until that moment when he gets a little serious and you think "DO NOT RUIN THIS, DUDE." And then he does. Although in a nice sweet way, telling you he has feelings for you and he'd like to take you out on an official date. And you've now got to be a jerk and totally risk this friendship, not to mention professional relationship, by turning him down for a whole host of reasons, the main one being you do NOT date people you work with. Never mind the oh, honey, I don't think my liberalism and atheism are going to mesh really well with your conservatism and church-going. And you feel awful because he's made himself all vulnerable and now you're going to toss a bucket of water in his face and part of you wants to say yes, go out on a date, be horribly, aggressively yourself and let him figure it out on his own. Except you know that's a bad idea. And apparently a wormhole opening up in the restaurant and swallowing you up, thereby absolving yourself of the task, isn't going to happen. And you wore the wrong shoes to dig a hole in the flooring and escape that way.
So, you do it, as gently as you can, and you both feel all awful and awkward. And then you, social skills EXHAUSTED, break the tension by ordering a round of shots because the waiter was passing by and you were desperate for any solution that would change the atmosphere that didn't involve you chewing out an artery to release the tension.
But think how civilized this would be. Think of something like Facebook or Linked In...but it's got a section where, when you decide you're interested in someone, you can log on and check that person off as someone you'd be interested in pursuing something more. But no notifications or anything get mailed out...until that person logs on and says "hey, I'm interested in this person". When your prospective date also expresses an interest, you both get a notification that you're on each other's radar.
How cool would that be? No more wondering if the other person is interested or not -- if you haven't heard back, they're not. If suddenly down the road they are, bam, you know all about it. In private. With no chance of humiliating the other person, with no vulnerability on your part. You log on, hey, I'd like to get to know this person better....and if they never return the interest, your crush is kept totally secret.
Okay, so it would be reliant on the other person being linked in to the same database. And both of you keeping things updated. And no one lying just to prank someone. Which is why, when I'm empress of the free world, there will be a chip in your head that will do this without you having to take any action because I know how you people are.
Which I guess makes it a bit less civilized, then, doesn't it?
This is why I don't invent things. It always winds up with a chip in your head.