terribleturnip (terribleturnip) wrote,

What's that in my food?

Here, libertarians and other people who think that regulation and watch-dog agencies are crushing the free market, here’s my rebuttal:

Horse meat in your beefburger. Maybe not even horsemeat, perhaps donkey.

Not bad enough?

Pork in your halal meat.

A manufacturing plant that knew its peanut butter was contaminated with salmonella and continued to ship it anyway.

DNA testing demonstrating that really, all of those labels and restaurant descriptions should just say “Fish” because half the time, whatever it’s being called is not what it actually is.

China. Any food that comes from China. Good luck with that.

For the record, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Go outside the food industry and have a field day.

Here’s the thing: Most people will do the right thing, given a frictionless surface. On the other hand a hell of a lot of people can be easily convinced to do the wrong thing, turn a blind eye, when a society has grown to the point where accountability is no longer easily traced, and the peer pressure you normally get from your neighbors and family to do the right thing, is replaced by peer pressure from your employer, your stockholders, The Man, to do the “necessary” thing.

For the record, I have no intellectual problem with eating horsemeat. But I don’t want to, for the same reason I’m not going to eat octopus, dog, veal, foie gras, cat, whale, ortolan or any endangered species. Too smart, betraying a companion animal compact, (and the combination of those two adding up to no way am I support a food farming/slaughter industry for species that are that perceptive) no way I’m going to support extinction because I couldn’t resist putting something in my mouth, having some expletive control, for pete’s sake. I’ll eat human in a heartbeat on the other hand, since there are way too many of us, we farm ourselves and I don’t even like most of you, certainly not fond enough of you to twitch should you wind up shrinkwrapped in Wal-Mart. Although I wouldn’t eat human if it were going to be a big deal, like the Japanese auction for that man’s body parts. I can’t stand big deals in general, and of all the things to get yourself all in a tizzy, food shouldn’t be one of them. Enjoy it, but really extreme eating, effete eating, elitist eating, seriously, makes my skin crawl.

Heh, Kopi Luwak, watching people pay exorbitant amounts for coffee beans that have been crapped out by a civet cat…and now you can get coffee beans that have been pooped out by elephants...and the I heard that Starbucks was selling Geisha coffee beans…ugh. Seriously, people, get a grip!

(For the record, the Geisha coffee beans are NOT pooped out by Geishas, so relax. Although it’s still rare enough to cost $7 a cup. A seven dollar cup of coffee better come with a foot massage, that’s all I’m saying.)

But I digress.

The plain and simple fact is, WITH food regulations, agency oversight, and inspections, this expletive is still going on. Can you imagine if tomorrow we completely stripped away all oversight of food producers, say? What, you think that suddenly our food supply would get….safer? More honest?

Somehow the whole horsemeat contamination thing is being turned into a discussion about whether it’s really so heinous to eat horsemeat or not. You can say “I have a right to know what’s in the package I’m buying” and you are 100% correct. And people have raised the argument that these horses have not been raised for human consumption and are thus pumped full of things that you do not want to eat. Which the trolls are countering with “oh, sure, laced with antibiotics just like factory farmed pigs and cattle you’re already shoveling into your mouth.”

Which is why I’ve sequestered myself from most of the internet today because while I try to avoid comments to blogs/articles as a general rule anyway, because they give me if not tumors, then at least agita and despair at utter stupidity of most people. And I’m down to only one reply “Shut the expletive up if you don’t know what you’re talking about. Which clearly, you don’t.” And I want to launch into a lengthy and detailed explanation about the grand canyon of difference between ingesting antibiotics that have been approved for animals destined for human consumption and antibiotics that are NOT approved for animals destined for human consumption. Look, I’d like to see the approved ones taken out of my food chain as well, but there are usually fairly significant reasons why certain ones are banned. Look up teratogen for starters. Ketamine, bute, lasix…there are lot of medications used on horses, especially pain relievers for race/work horses, insecticides, wormers, that have not been approved for food chain animals. Sure, most of that stuff will probably clear their system (maybe. Wouldn’t you be happier with some data on that? I sure would) if you wait long enough. I’m going to go out on a limb, though and guess that someone who’s blithely subbing horsemeat for cowmeat without telling anyone, is probably not pasturing the horses for the requisite flushing time. Go ahead, call me jaundiced.

Morons. “I’ll eat anything that doesn’t move fast enough because I am manly, fearsome, top of the food chain, arrr, grrrr, arrr, I’ll totally eat horse and dog and snake and babies because grrr, arrr, I’m a fierce predator!” Dude, seriously, the Cheetos dust has gone to your head. You couldn’t move your fat lardass out of that desk chair in your Mom’s basement fast enough to chase down a three legged guinea pig.

Sigh. And now I will hang my head in shame at my gross generalization that the people who are making those comments/arguments are nearly exclusively male, probably out of shape, and underemployed or suffer from a severe lack of face to face social contact.

Expletive. I just did it again, didn’t I?

Okay, let’s try it again. I’m fairly certain that a good number of the people making those comments are fit and active and have strong ties to their community and get laid ALL THE TIME.


Look, I’d be a nicer, more fair person if only, as a child, I hadn’t ingested all of those drugs and antibiotics that are now no longer approved for food-animals, but can still be used in pets and…horses.

And now for something completely different:

Tags: food, in which i tell you how to fix your life, politics
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