|Pecked to death by Vampire Ducks
||[Nov. 3rd, 2013|06:46 pm]
Please note, this isn't me looking for sympathy - you have to remember that this is really just a touch worse than I'm used to. But I thought I'd make you feel better about whatever expletive you're going through. None of this is tragic or insurmountable or even all that awful. It's just the CONGREGATION of it all that's making me wonder just what the hell I did in my last life that I need to take such a pecking to death by ducks in this one.
See, unlike last Halloween when I thought I was going to have all sorts of help, but thanks to a hurricane, and other issues, wound up not having much help until last minute (which was much appreciated), THIS year, I had all sorts of help. Which was great. I was pretty psyched about it.
(If you don't know, Halloween to me is a four hour event that involves both a party for my friends in the side yard/cemetery, and closing the street down, decorating all the houses and hosting about 3,000 visitors. 2,000 pieces of candy. It's a little intense.)
But the universe hates it when I feel relaxed, so on Monday said "heh, here, here's the plague. See how smooth it goes when you feel like carp." But I thought, okay, fine, I'm just going to scale back some of the preparations, make sure I get plenty of sleep, and thank goodness I have lots of help and don't have to freak out."
And the universe stomped its tiny feet and clenched its little fists (I know, right, FREAKISHLY little appendages on that universe. ::shudder::) and said "FINE. Let's clog the hell out of your kitchen pipes so that the downstairs sink overflows all over the basement and you can't use your dishwasher and will only be able to wash a couple of dishes at a time before you have to run downstairs and bail out the downstairs sink. Oh, and no, I have NO idea where your shop vac is." humming a little ha-ha tune,
But okay, fine, so that's a pain in the neck, let me add "plumber" on the list, right between distribute tombstones and finish painting carnivorous plant. But okay, I can deal.
And I was grossed out to find that I had a rat infestation out in the shed and that rats had nested in the other carnivorous plant prop. But okay, I have a new one this year and I'll just replace this one next year. I can use it and then throw it out. And clean up all the rat, er, mess, in the shed, thanking the gods for Nature's Miracle: it's not just for dog and cat urine. And the raccoon poop all over a bunch of the tombstone stakes, eh, that'll hose off. And I didn't even freak out when I started pulling props out of the basement and found that in THERE, I have a mouse infestation and they'd been nibbling on back-up candy and several of the freaky dried squash I put out on Lovecraft's Produce Stand (It's Fresh Enough for You). Well, that sucks I thought, I HATE killing things, but once you move inside my house and start pooping on things, well, you've violated our "live and let live" contract and now we're done. Well, YOU'RE done. But okay, put out snap traps, good to go.
And yes, it was made more complicated by the fact that the light in the Halloween storage room was on the fritz,shorting out, so I had to use a lantern or flashlight to find things. And during the day I had to take a break to set an appointment for them to come and replace the defective coil on my heat pump. And yep, the rain was NOT going to hold off, so there was a good chance that it would rain during the event and a 100% chance it would rain later that night, so that meant hauling in all the props that couldn't take an all night soaking.
But okay. The last straw was when munching a quick snickers bar while running around setting everything up, my bridge came loose and suddenly I had teeth roaming around my mouth and had to run into the bathroom and reset it, which isn't easy, and then remember to NOT chew anything on that side of my mouth...because you know, I nothing else on my mind.
THAT Universe, THAT was expletive EGREGIOUS.