|"Discontinued". Oh, I HATE that word.
||[Jul. 21st, 2015|03:05 pm]
Whew, that was a close call. I thought they’d discontinued my mascara. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but that would have been on top of my pantyhose brand being discontinued just two weeks ago.
Which is a HUGE HAIRY EXPLETIVE deal.
See, my life is a bit overfull. I don’t just burn the candle at both ends. It’s also on fire in the middle. And I have a ton of friends telling me to slow the hell down, relax more. While I would agree that perhaps a 10-15% reduction would be wise, I haven’t figured out where to cut that yet.
In the meantime, you need to remember this about the overfull: it’s mostly filled with awesome and that makes it hard to cut…and even the hard parts are inseparably attached to the awesomeness. And, secondly, there’s something wrong with me, something we can’t figure out, that sometimes makes it really painful to just move. Hey, maybe we’ll figure it out, or maybe it will be just at this level for the rest of my life, which sucks but is bearable. But if it gets worse as I age, there may come a time, sooner for me than for others, where I CAN’T do any of these awesome things. So, really, expletive you and your “you need to slow down”. No, not really, you mean well and it’s out of love and care. I get that. But seriously, I have Reasons. I’m only listening to people who are really close and understand the equation I’m working with.
Anyway, in order to cram in that much stuff, there are behaviors I’ve adopted to manage the chaos and strip time out of little things. Color coded folders to help me find stuff faster. Always cooking for four people or more, so that I can have a freezer full of single servings that I can mix and match. Carrying a box of office supplies in the car – binder clips, envelopes, stamps, sharpies, etc., so that I can manage paperwork anywhere. Always having a couple of extra twenties in the car so that I never have to detour to an ATM or keep driving to another station because I’ve landed at the one gas station that only takes cash. Once a year, buying a case of my favorite Provencal soap. Buying a case of 3M toilet scrubs at a time. And being fiercely, obsessively, brand loyal.
I find the brand that works best/is best/tastes best and that is the brand I buy. Always. I don’t give a rat’s ass whether it’s on sale or not, or whether there’s a coupon or sale on a different brand. Scott Towels, Charmin Basic Toilet Paper, Muir Glen or Red Pack tomatoes, etc. Whatever brand I’ve landed on, if it’s on sale, I buy a ton of it, as much as I can store, assuming it’s non-perishable. If it’s not, I buy just what I need.
My goal is to waste less time thinking/deciding/running out to the store. I buy that case of soap and then don’t have to think about soap until next year. Never have to remember to buy it, think about what scents, I’m done until I get down to the second to last bar, when I log on and cause more to show up. Oh, sure, if see a fancy, schmancy soap that’s appealing, I’ll certainly pick it up and give it a try. But I don’t HAVE to. Back when I bought soap once at a time, it was always “oh, do I want rose or lavender, what does this grapefruit one smell like?” Is that a lot of time for each thought “transaction”? No, of course, not. But it adds up. 12 a year, on just soap bars. If I think of my time as being worth money, a habit I got into when running my own business, then if it took me a minute to think through soaps each time, let’s say my free time is worth $20/hour – you may say “oh, hey, it should be worth more than that!” – but I say if I value it too high, then watching a movie on television starts to sound like a very expensive waste of time, so that’s just where I landed. Anyway, that’s $4 a year thinking about soap. Big deal? Nope. But if I invested that kind of time in thinking about whether with the coupon that brand was cheaper, or well that one’s more expensive but it does a better job and I’ll use less…Shudder.
Do NOT have that kind of time. Or, have way better things to do with my time. Mind you, you may enjoy that process – have at it! There are far stupider things I ditz around on, but the ditzing there makes me happy. Having to find a new brand/type of sneaker, or bra, or pantyhose, or paper towel, makes me crazy.
Which is why a product discontinuation unglues me so. Augh, I have to THINK about it again? Not only were these the first comfortable pantyhose I’d ever worn in my entire life, but I’d even fallen into a pattern where about every two months, about when I’d be doing the wash and notice that I was now down to six pairs (although not really a pair since that’s stockings, but “a pantyhose” just sounds wrong) and BINK, sit down at the computer, three minutes later, another six pairs would be on the way. I could have gone on like that FOREVER, my friends. But nooooooooooo, Spanx decided to stop making Assets brand pantyhose.
And now I have to start from scratch – buying other brands, guessing at what size I wear, trying to decide if they’re uncomfortable because I’ve got the wrong size, or if they’re inherently uncomfortable.
I know, you’re thinking, okay, really, you’re being a bit whiny. If you’re thinking that, you’re either a man or a woman who never wears them. Or maybe you’re just one of those women who falls perfectly within a size. Well, lemme tell ya, brothers and sisters, it ain’t that easy when you’re only 5’5” and weigh 200+ pounds, which means you fall on the borderline of every sizing chart in pantyhose land. Regular size, if they’re not quite long enough, in trying to pull them up, I’m totally going to spike a hole in them with a thumbnail. Oh, let me get the next size up, for taller girls. Oh, now I’ve got yards of fabric all bunched up around my thighs. Oh, THAT’S comfy!
So, off to Queen-Size I go. The problem is, those suckers stretch in all directions. While my thighs are indeed significant, apparently not as significant as you would expect on someone my height and weight. So, with Queen size, I tend to wind up with not only bunches of fabric on my thighs sometimes also my ankles. And you can’t try these suckers on ahead of time – nope, you just have to plop down your dough and give them a whirl. Grrrr.
It’s almost enough to make me wear pants all of the time. But then I’d have to find pants that fit me….