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Satan is in my pipes [Oct. 4th, 2007|08:14 am]
[Current Music |Genesis, Lamb Lies Down]

I keep going into the weekend somewhat sleep-deprived and then well, there's certainly no chance to catch up. So, this week I was really committed to getting off on a good start. I was doing okay until last night...

Just replacing the shower fixtures in the upstairs shower, since the diverter valve has torn, so half the water comes out of the tub faucet and the showerhead sort of piddles on you. But, of course, the pipes have all been laid in my house against some sort of standard that no longer exists -- some ancient Sumerian standard of measure so that no modern fixture is will actually fit into the holes in the wall, nor align properly with the pipes behind the wall.

So, after slogging away at it all day, we decide that the smart thing to do is let a professional correct it, rather than have us amateurs arrange a solution that will work...for a while, then bust out and flood the house right after we leave on a long trip. After all, the plumber is already coming back to work on the pipes in the basement. We tried, but it's back to the downstairs shower until we work on improving access to the downstairs pipes so that I don't have to pay a plumber to pull out framing and minor ductwork.

And it's all good until I get up to pee in the middle of the night. And hear a drip, drip, drip, drip. And being a glass half empty kind of person, especially at 3:30 in the morning, I figure it's related to our earlier work behind the wet wall. Which means waking up and moving Percy, so that I can pull his bed out of the way so that I can move the filing cabinet and printer stand away from the access panel in the bedroom. Yeah, naked, with a flashlight, peering in between the walls. Oh, bestill your beating hearts. I'm sure it's a much lovelier picture in your minds than it is in real life...what with all of the cursing, getting entangled in printer cords, shooing cats out of the wet wall space, etc.

And of course, I see water, but all of the pipes are bone dry. So, I close it up and head back into the bathroom, accompanied by most of the cats and half of the dogs. This time I break down and turn on the lights. And there's water all under the toilet. Water is pouring out from around the toilet handle, since the toilet, decided for no other reason than to ruin a good night's sleep, to overfill. One flush and it righted itself. Mopped up all of the water. (No, wait, I'm lying. I just threw all of the bathroom towels on the floor to soak it up and shambled back to bed.)

Where I then lay awake imagining all sorts of other plumbing disasters, how I was ever going to trust the toilet again...which was a nice segue into my entire roster of anxieties...After a stupendous battle between said anxieties and every relaxation technique I've got (well, except for the best one, but the Captain's been sick and I took pity) and finally I managed to fall back to sleep. To be awakened by the dogs at 5 because apparently the excitement of Mom doing home repair in the middle of the night has made them restless.

Dear Plumbing,

This attention-seeking behavior has got to stop. I love all of you pipes and fixtures equally. It's just that some of you need more immediate attention than others. Please be patient while I address the emergencies and I swear, I will address all of you in good time.

Or, set the house on fire and move...you choose.

[User Picture]From: pyllgrum
2007-10-04 01:08 pm (UTC)
If you can't trust your toilet than whom can you flush?
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