||[Oct. 23rd, 2007|12:47 pm]
|||||Go From My Window, Pint and Dale||]|
Since home computer is still in the throes of adolescence -- sometimes it'll work, sometimes it won't get the hell out of bed -- and I just have NOT had time to deal with it. Or patience...since a tiny rational corner of my brain keeps insisting that an ax is not a viable computer fix when one does not have the budget for a new one. I've been reduced to often doing my e-mail web-based, which means pretty much NO spam filter. So, all of that crap that usually goes straight to the dustbin has to be manually tossed. Which is boring...
For the record:
I've never won anything in my life except an occasional doorprize. If you really want to grab me, say I won "a month's supply of cheap hot dogs"
because, really, THAT'S the kind of prize I usually win.
My penis size is fine. Really. And it's attached to a very lovable guy who makes me happy. So I really don't want to mess with that. And "my new penis is waiting for me" ...does it have a name? What am I going to do with the old one? I'm pretty damn fond of the one I have...
Which also means that I'm not interested in the girls or boys on your site who want to meet me. I know enough people already, trust me. And I prefer that they come with references from other friends.
I can barely stand my current mortgage company, but better the devil you know. Besides, since you regularly insist that my sex life needs improvement, that the only way I can meet hot chicks is via the internet AND I'm looking to score painkillers, how financially astute can you be if you're going to loan that much money to someone with such serious self-esteem issues?
About the painkillers. Sweetheart, I can't take anything stronger than naproxen (which I can get cheap enough at Target) without some serious side effects that make me wish for JUST the pain again.
Why would I buy software from you? You people are usually the reason I HAVE to buy new software.
And finally, learn how to spell. I'm not buying anything from anyone that can't spell the product's name. Unless you're under 12 and selling lemonade. Plus, if your name was really Keith, you wouldn't spell it "Kieth". Amazon.com sells books of babynames. Think of it as a capital investment.
It's all I can to handle my own banking. While I'm all about the good samaritan thing, I'm not going to take on the responsibility of handling finances for someone in Nigeria or Estonia. I already do enough volunteer work to guarantee me a place in heaven, should such a place exist. Hell, I've done enough community service, I could probably get away with a lot of really bad behavior, a minor genocide, even, before I'd have to feel guilty about letting some widow of an ex-official find local help.
My name is not actually Turnip. So those Dear Turnip letters...I'm on to you. And Dear Meredither Kisen is another bit of a giveaway...
And finally, learn how to spell. I'm not buying anything from anyone that can't spell the product's name. Unless you're under 12 and selling lemonade. (Dear terminally geeky friends who blow blood vessels if they can't correct a misimpression: I KNOW it's misspelled on purpose and why. But I'm trying to be funny here. I'm okay with looking slightly misinformed if it means a funny bit. This is why I have friends and you're pretty much stuck with me.)
Plus, if your name was really Keith, you wouldn't spell it "Kieth". Amazon.com sells books of babynames. Think of it as a capital investment.