|Your candidate for worst smell ever?
||[Dec. 3rd, 2007|11:32 am]
In the fridge, let me narrow it down. And you have to have known what it was at some point -- forgotten goo doesn't count. |
Raw chicken's bad, real bad...but it's sort of a one-note horrible. Like beans gone bad or decomposing rat...it's the kind of smell where you KNOW what it is.
A true stink connaisseur goes for multi-layer stinks.
My current vote goes for: Pasta with white bean and tuna. Fish gone bad, well, that's bad enough, but when beans go bad WITH it, well, that's a whole sinus-full of trouble. The raunchy dead-thing smell of the tuna weaving in and out of the rich, deep stench, the hang out in your nostrils for a while kind of stench only delivered by a bunch of decomposing beans.
Bless the Captain for being man enough to deal with it.
*I* would have thrown out the tupperware container without breaching the top.
Hmmm baby seedless cucumbers in a plastic container. Forgotten, at the back of the fridge until so decomposed they were liquified...ughgh..then again, leaving flowers in a vase too long makes for the gag reflex of stinky pond water smell...
You win :-) even reading that description made me gag *and not in a good way * :-)
2007-12-03 08:52 pm (UTC)
Our Trip To Quebec..
...started with my dad being irresistably drawn to purchasing a whole chicken and putting it on a plate in the fridge. You may be thinking,"why didn't he freeze it or cook it?" I don't know. Why did he buy it in the first place? I don't know. We headed off to a perfectly terrible visit with our Canadian neighbors. One traffic accident, one rude discussion with a motel owner, and 3 cases of food poisoning later we decided that we had seen enough of Canada, eh?
We returned from our trip to discover that the house power line have been zapped by a storm about 12 hours after we left. Most of the circuits had come back up, but the circuit breaker for the fridge had tripped. So the chicken had just over a week to rot in an enclosed space at summer temperatures.
We'd been on the road for some time returning home and I was getting thirsty. When we got back home I scrambled inside to get something cold to drink. I knew something was terribly wrong when I opened the door and the light wasn't on. And then...
Do you recall The Ten Commandments? Er...the movie. Do you remember the scene when the green mist descended from the heavens to wipe out the firstborn of Egypt? That's what rolled out onto the floor when I broke the biohazard seal.
The source of the biblcal plague gas was a gelatinous green-yellow parody of a chicken boating happily on a plateful of stickey fungusy decayed chicken juice. The smell was a mixture of sulpher, gunpowder, and a foul fetid rotted chicken wind blown from the anus of hell. I slammed the door, and left the kitchen gagging.
A second expeditionary force discovered that the bloated shiney verdant flesh sloughed off the bone when touched with a fork. This released a second, more powerful smell-bomb.
The next two weeks were spent washing the inside ot the fridge with hot water, soap, and clorox to remove the smell. We were unsuccessful. We threw the refridgerator out.
Omigod. That is horrible. You win.
Thank goodness I no longer have a gag reflex or I'd be choking right now.
(Just thought I'd ruin another day of productivity for that crabguthoardingliardiego)
2007-12-04 08:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Our Trip To Quebec..
I think that was the most expensive chicken dad ever bought. It ended up costing about $350.
OK I have TWO ultra stinky stories but these are both FREEZER related so might not technically count:
1. Newly wed city folks (aka me and Van) get double-wide mobile home and 80 acres of prime desert scrub land in the San Luis Valley, Alamosa, Colorado. Decide to raise chickens. Buy little hatchling cute chickens that get bigger and poopier as the days go by. Van decides it is time to butcher the young males (saving the hens for eggs). He cuts off the heads of about 10 or so and presents me with the carcasses to pluck. Mind you this is before I even had my first cup of coffee. I duly pluck said chickens. We cook one of them and freeze the rest then head back east for two week vacation back east. We left a few college students in charge of the farmette but they had no occasion to open the freezer. We return. House reeks. A skunk had gotten under the house and let loose. Then.... we open the freezer. Circuit breaker had tripped day or so after we left so had 2 weeks worth of rotten chicken smell PLUS the lingering oder of skunk under the house. Augggh, gaggg,aughfull. I have since decided that we will never have a large freezer. The only things that ever went in were food that did not come out great the first time but that we could not stand to toss so we froze it and never ever ate it.
2. OK, I work at the natural history museum. We have a lot of dead things there, in fact, everything there is dead! Well, one day the giant room size walk-in freezer that held the marine mammals specimens broke down very badly. These were mostly stranded dead dolphins collected over the years to be necropsied and skeletized for scientific study. Well, when they were picked up from the beach they were usually already dead for at least a few days to a week. When they are still frozen they smell very bad. When they are defrosted it is undescribabley awfull, the stinkiest foulest most horrible breath of death you can imagine. Our job was to move these into a temporary freezer truck... in August....in DC...in 95 degree heat and 100% humidity. I rest my case.
2007-12-07 06:14 pm (UTC)
Re: I can beat y'all hands down! From the Rocketeer!
Being a witness to Skivee's hair on fire from the hell-spawn chicken stench and futile THREE MONTHS of Air-Wicks on every surface of the house, I thought we had a lock on the championships. Skivee, she's got us beat...
2007-12-08 01:23 am (UTC)
Re: I can beat y'all hands down!
While I do not deny that the dolphins must have been a trying experience, few mortals can truly appreciate that which we have endured in our shared chicken death-gas experience. We welcome you as a sister into our aerosol WMD poultry fraturnity. You should come to the meeting next week. We will be discussing the effectiveness of various biohazard suit and respirator combinations.
I am actually a certified OSHA HAZWOPER (oops dead fairies)graduate, trained to respond to hazardous waste spills and have worn the Level A full biohazard suit though only in training classes. I don't plan on needing, or regularly using this, but do have occasion to wear a respirator for some of the work I do. Ohh, and I didn't even mention the "bug room" we have at the osteo prep lab. This is where the dermestid beeetles eat the rotting flesh off of all the dead beasties to be prepared as skeletal specimens. Talk about stinky. I will see if I can arrange a tour for the WMD Poultry Fraturnity!