|Not Your Lunch
||[Mar. 4th, 2008|09:05 am]
So, I pass by the cleaning crew on the way out and they're getting off on another floor, another company, carrying a roll of stickers that say |
"This Lunch belongs to ________. If this is not your lunch, don't take it."
Okay, I totally get the point of the sticker -- although I think a date is a crucial part of any label that goes on things that lurk in the communal fridge.
But, really. Does the kind of person who would steal another person's lunch, really strike you as someone whose behavior would be changed by a stickered admonition?
Oh, jeez, I'd better not take that, I'm enough of a sociopath to ignore the basic tenets of society, but whew, I'd better listen to that ol' sticker.
Dude, THAT sticker makes me want to sneak onto the floor and steal people's lunches JUST to violate the sticker.
See I don't like the sticker because it identifies MY food. What if someone had a problem with me and that is how they knew which sandwich to put the pubic hair in? huh? bueller? :-)
Your casual use of the words "slap" and "crotch" make me want to curl up in the fetal position while rocking slowly in a corner.
I'm mostly too frightened of other people's food to steal it and eat it myself, but I would be sorely tempted to mix up all the stickers.
This is just one of many reasons why it's a blessing for everyone that I am no longer in the corporate workforce.
Look, just put a "TOXIC WASTE" sticker on your lunch. I can guarantee it will be left alone!
OMG that icon.
*insert mad cackles here*
Or BIOHAZARD or FRESH BLOOD.
"Bugs" would work, too, probably, especially if you put some in there the first time.
I'm a big believer in laying traps for food stealing sociopaths.
Our menu for today:
"Spicey Chicken Salad Sandwich" augmented by Chinese hot pepper oil
"Spicey Plantain Chips" augmented by Chinese hot pepper oil
"Chocolate Fudge Brownie" ala Exlax augmented by Chinese hot pepper oil
and a tastey beverage of your choice!
2008-03-04 05:37 pm (UTC)
Fun Stickers............................from the Rocketeer
An old pal of mine once got an summer job at N I H in the animal labs.
One of the best things he got out of it was a roll of stickers designating the contents of (whatever) container as "Rat Carcasses".
2008-03-04 05:50 pm (UTC)
Re: "A slice of PAIN CAKE!"
After reading all the complaints about people stealing food from the company fridge, if I ever start working again in a place that has such a thing, I'm keeping my damned lunch in a padlocked cooler under my desk.
I gotta tell you -- I've worked in various office/sharing fridge situations and I have never, ever had anyone steal my lunch. And those of you who know me, know that if I'm going to bring a lunch in, it's worth stealing.
My Diet Mountain Dew, sure. But lunch? Who the hell steals someone else's lunch? I mean, you're in an office situation, not stranded on some island someplace. (Where, frankly, if food was THAT tight, I'd just kill you so that I could eat your lunch...and you, at leisure without worrying that you'd get pissed that I stole your chicken salad sandwich and murder ME in my sleep)